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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks "Is your date running late?"
"No" he replies "I just got this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says "A state-of-the-art watch?
What's so special about it?"
The Aussie explains "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies
"Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says
"Bloody thing's an hour fast!"
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks "Is your date running late?"
"No" he replies "I just got this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says "A state-of-the-art watch?
What's so special about it?"
The Aussie explains "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies
"Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says
"Bloody thing's an hour fast!"
Some people are like old televisions, they need a few slaps before they get the picture.
Two old guys talking.
1) “I’m 84 & feel like shit, full of aches & pains.”
2) “I’m 85 & feel like a new born baby.”
1) “really?”
2) “yes, no hair, no teeth & I’ve just pissed my pants”
1) “I’m 84 & feel like shit, full of aches & pains.”
2) “I’m 85 & feel like a new born baby.”
1) “really?”
2) “yes, no hair, no teeth & I’ve just pissed my pants”