You work in a funny farm or something?
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Highs and lows
- Thread starter andyBeaker
- Start date
Resident ?
Oi!..I got feelings ya know. I just don't bring em on here.
Feckin murder here..no bog roll, no man size snot rags...My keyboard is a mess...you cruel bastid.
Doesn't your cardigan have sleeves in ? if so problem solved
Doesn't your cardigan have sleeves in ? if so problem solved
Right!..Off to evil bay...looking at cymbals...with rose tinted specs.
You'll be sorry when i get my fast hands back.
Or half as sorry as we were when we saw that f’ing jacket of yours!Right!..Off to evil bay...looking at cymbals...with rose tinted specs.
You'll be sorry when i get my fast hands back.
You'll be sorry when i get my fast hands back.
The mind feckin' boggles.
High
- The lawnmower stated on the button first time yesterday for its first run out of the year
Lows
- Our green garden waste bin was full so I had to bag up the cuttings
- I have got to go out and get some sand in a minute to facilitate laying the final twelve pavers in the garden
- I have to lay the final twelve pavers in the garden
- The lawnmower stated on the button first time yesterday for its first run out of the year
Lows
- Our green garden waste bin was full so I had to bag up the cuttings
- I have got to go out and get some sand in a minute to facilitate laying the final twelve pavers in the garden
- I have to lay the final twelve pavers in the garden
Highs
41 points on the senior stableford this morning
My neighbour finally agreeing that the kindest thing to do is to have their cat put to sleep, poor thing. Not sure how true it is, they claim the cat is 24 so not a bad knock
Lows
My neighbour asking me to take the cat to the vet tomorrow
Chatting to a young lady who has been unable to get disposable nappies for her four week old baby this morning
41 points on the senior stableford this morning
My neighbour finally agreeing that the kindest thing to do is to have their cat put to sleep, poor thing. Not sure how true it is, they claim the cat is 24 so not a bad knock
Lows
My neighbour asking me to take the cat to the vet tomorrow
Chatting to a young lady who has been unable to get disposable nappies for her four week old baby this morning
Reminds me of when cat dislocated its tail. I noticed it having difficulty sitting but eventually figured it couldn't wrap the tail around as normal.
Anyway, off to semi retired vet over the road.
Put the cat on table. Vet takes white coat off hook, me thinking how professional.
He throws the coat over the cat and works its head up the sleeve and just as the head appears he twisted the sleeve. So all we see is the head. Claws safely inside sleeve.
Hold the sleeve he says. So I did.
He catches tail and pops back in the joint.
The cat craps on the table meanwhile sinking its teeth in my finger.
Vet has big cotton swab cleaning cat crap.
Suddenly he sees my finger bleeding and starts to attack with crap covered swab. Needless to say my finger moved faster than light.
Everyone at home thought this was hilarious.
Anyway, off to semi retired vet over the road.
Put the cat on table. Vet takes white coat off hook, me thinking how professional.
He throws the coat over the cat and works its head up the sleeve and just as the head appears he twisted the sleeve. So all we see is the head. Claws safely inside sleeve.
Hold the sleeve he says. So I did.
He catches tail and pops back in the joint.
The cat craps on the table meanwhile sinking its teeth in my finger.
Vet has big cotton swab cleaning cat crap.
Suddenly he sees my finger bleeding and starts to attack with crap covered swab. Needless to say my finger moved faster than light.
Everyone at home thought this was hilarious.
Reminds me of when I went to the doctors years ago with really sore ribS. She told me I had managed to dislodge a rib and I had a choice of going to hospital or letting her sort it out. One hefty smack later I was fixed.
It really,,really hurt though!
Not sure I would get the same treatment these days....
Kinky
I reckon I could name at least one person on here who would offer to smash you in the ribs.
Low, Being stabbed in the back by a colleague, I am now under investigation.
High, Couldn’t give a shit if they sack me, I’m outa there in October anyway.
High, Couldn’t give a shit if they sack me, I’m outa there in October anyway.
Ok, it’s taken me two and a half days but I have now learned (whilst remaining united as one with my plums) that she did not have big tits.