****MIDLANDS MEET - REVISED DETAILS*****

[fat bert]

errr Cyclops~~~~

shagged my back tyre

in an establishment like Bubbles ........

that's NOT the general idea

For your new tyre - pop up to Bob Potts [motto we undercut everone but what the hell were busy] - he sells everything cheap!!!

LOL

 

[Cyclops]

Then the answer is

Simple ( Like you ) Dont fooken read it muppett:f :f

I will try (not hard) not to read anything you post

Is it a deal

 

[fat bert]

Lim Plump~~~~

be fair mate

It isn't a Touring Issue - neither it is a "Ride Out" - it's a social get togther - same as the Lord Derby

Therefore it should be housed in Coffee Shop - which is denoted for "General Ramblings" - whoever he might be!!

I also have to say that over 1700 reads and lots of replies - it seems to be a very popular thread

Don't be a party-pooper - try joining in!

This is one of the best threads we've had in ages - don't you agree?

 

[ianrobbo1]

ear we go again, BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER

:cry: I REALY hate it when I HAVE to agree with Bert,:B :B

Three times in as many weeks :bang: :bang: :bang: LOL

might it be a little different, if the epic ride was ''DARN SARF'' LOL

 

[RHINO]

BOB POTTS

I got a call in the office late last night at BOB POTTS [motto: We undercut everyone but what the hell,,we're busy unlike Steve Jordan m/cycles]

BOB: Hello, BOB POTTS

CYCLOPS: HI BOB,, i need a rear tyre for my rusty err trusty steed coz the bint from Bubbles has shagged it and all i can smell is burning rubber,,same smell as Fat Berts bedroom when he's alone.

BOB: What size is it?

CYCLOPS: Last time i was in it it was about 12' x 14' with fitted wardrobes and a pink throw on the bed,,,very comfy too.

BOB: I meant the tyre you navigational nightmare!

CYCLOPS: Oh right,, its about 240/110/18.

BOB: What bike is it?

CYCLOPS: Its a tractor, ya know,, a Jap version of the world renowned HARDLY MOVINGSON. Please help me BOB as i need to plough my way through snow drifts en route to MATLOCK to meet nice people on Friday..

BOB: Is it solid rubber or do you have to blow it up?

CYCLOPS: I think it's the blow job....i have that on my mind for some reason.....yeh it has to be...i heard the words Rubber & Blow only last night at BUBBLES so we'll go for that.

BOB: We can get it but not until Wednesday afternoon.. it'll arrive by pigeon post about 3pm.

 

[fat bert]

Tyre Update

Seen this morning on the ay into work.................

Low Loader lorry with a selection of tyres en route to Cyclops.

The lorry - Aggro-Boots plc [motto; we're rough and tough but don't do pink] was loaded....................

with these..................................

Hope they'll fit?
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[fat bert]

Sorry~~~

Wrong pic [deliberately]

Will try again....................

 

[fat bert]

Damm~~~

must try harder LOL

These are the ones [honest]

 

[RHINO]

BERT

Hi BERT, BOB POTTS [motto: We undercut everyone but what the hell, we're busy (unlike Steve Jordan m/cycles)] here,, i can supply the missing tread repair section.

I have an old pair (as opposed to an au pair) :xm , of ZR rated flip flops which i used in summer for rushing around my workshop at speeeeeed due to being so busy because [We undercut everybody but what the hell we're busy (unlike Steve Jordan m/cycles)]
I'll cut out the patten required and you can hold it in place with your supa fix wig glue.


BOB POTTS supplier of TEFLON TECHNOLOGY NO GRIP HIGH SLIP TOURING TYPE TYRES..

 

[fat bert]

Excellent Rhino~~

get them over there pronto?

Tell Bob Potts [We undercut everybody but what the hell we're busy (unlike Steve Jordan m/cycles)] not to forget the chicken strips

Cyclops can't ride without them

 

[fat bert]

Cyclops needs to get ~~~~~~

a "wiggle on" as there is only 57 hours to go before the Matlock deadline

 

[RHINO]

BERT

Tell CYCLOPS that BOB has put the 240/110/18 and the ZR rated flip flops onto the FAST POST [MOTTO: We get the fooker there without delay] van which is now powered by a scrap CARLTON engine found choking a car crusher..

Page 81 secion 4.1 in the Haynes comic states

1) remove your spindle from its position.

2) pop out your rim and disguard old rubber cautiously

3) smear lube around your rim.

4) ease your rim into the the new fresh rubber.

5) now grease up your spindle and place it firmly into the hole.

6) grip your nuts tightly and by hand tighten your grip until firm.

7) sit back and have a fag

BOB POTTS supplier of TEFLON TECHNOLOGY NO GRIP HIGH SLIP TOURING TYPE TYRES.



:-: :-: :bang:

 

[fat bert]

Bugger~~~~!?

smear lube around your rim

He tried this the other night at Bobbles Health Spa and look at the trouble he got himself into!!

 

[ianrobbo1]

BOING !!!!

I thought this and the ''suffolk'' rideout would look good together,!!!!!

notice ANY similarity,

 

[Supabird1100]

The Worry Finally Got too Much For Me........

No word from our intrepid World Rider since 5-00pm yesterday, so I alerted the search and rescue team that I had on stand-by.

Lost Souls-R-Us (motto: We'll find any fooker)....... have scoured the highways and byways of Derby in an effort to locate Cyclops but have drawn a blank. The tyre fitters, Bob Potts [We undercut everybody but what the hell we're busy] made it to his trusty machine and sent him on his way......but since then ......nothing !!!!

So where is Cyclops ????

Steve (Maps-R-Us)...Worried sponsors of Cyclops !!!!

 

[fat bert]

Confession Time I'm afraid~~~~~

Doh!!

I accidentally told Cyclops [World Rider] that his gold membership had ran out and it would cost him 10 pence per minute to post on the forum

His wallet went into terminal meltdown and he was last seen making some "wriggly hip" movements with his groin pressed up against the Nat West cashpoint machine.

One can only presume that either::-

a} He was trying to make love to it thinking it was another "lady" from Bubbles

b} He was attempting to illegally remove "folding notes" from the machine without using his cash card

I fear that his fiscal tightness will prevent him from making further posts

46 hours and counting....................

 

[Supabird1100]

Terrible News !!!!!..................

In light of this information FB....Maps-R-Us are willing to increase their sponsorship monies to allow Cyclops to post his reports. The world awaits with baited breath to see if our hero can complete his mission......and Maps-R-Us cannot deny the waiting public the news they want and deserve !!!!!

We are currently in negotiation to sponsor Cyclops on his next voyage of discovery.......namely the annual BlackBird Bash in Thetford, Norfolk. This trip was a taster for the main event in May, so can you contact him..... by any means possible.....and tell him to relay a report in to the Forum ???

Steve (Maps-R-Us) Almost bankrupt sponsors of Cyclops !!!!!

 

[gypsy]

CYCLOPS UPDATE!!

Fear not Super Cyclops has been spotted !

our intrepid friend realised he had missed out on his weekly physiotherapy , so seeing a nearby park decided to take some exercise.

Cyclops was fine doing the gentle jogging and the press-ups...(why he had to have the up-turned sheep there as a cushion he never said!!)
when he spotted a nearby fairground
thinking he could do with a bit of cardio vascular work he has tried several white knuckle rides with no problem all....

This is when it has all gone wrong .... The replacement Gps codpiece(pat pending) has been lined not with the synthetic material as requested but with the real fur of 6 hamsters !!!


Unfortunatly this has left us with the problem that we cant get him off the fecking "BIG WHEEL" !!!!!

I am rapidly loosing patiance with this man !!!

so i am going to concentrate my efforts on organising some illuminations at Matlock for his hopeful arrival on Friday

 

[fat bert]

Supa/Gyppo~~~~

Oh dear - please Supa DO NOT mention additonal funding and Cyclops in the same breath

.next voyage of discovery.......namely the annual BlackBird Bash in Thetford, Norfolk..

No fear - we want to enjoy ourselves!!

.he has tried several white knuckle rides with no problem all..

The only White Knuckle ride he has is the grip on his wallet

 

[Cyclops]

Evening Update:

First of all I feel I must apologise to my sponsors for not sending my daily report in.

However after the tyre fitters, Bob Potts [We undercut everybody but what the hell we're busy] had changed the back tyre on my bike, I remembered that I had left my handkerchief at Bubbles Health Spa on the main Derby road (motto: Let us rub you up...it's better than a RobP sausage).

As it had great sentimental value to me I had to call back and get it, oh boy did I get it. :blush:

I did have a moment of panic earlier when news from Fat Bert came though on my Cod Piece GPS system wiv Wot I am equipped that my gold sponsorship was due again. However this turned out to be an error on Fat Bert?s part due to him not having his contact lenses in. :f

I made a quick visit to the funfair where I was mugged by a viscous gang of 8 year olds, one of the little buggers kicked me stick away and the others stole my wallet. :B

After a sit down and a strong cup of tea I was making my way back to my bike when I fell over an inflatable sheep some careless person had left lying in the grass, this led to a misunderstanding on the parts of 2 old ladies who reported me to the police for sheep shagging. The police were very understanding and after a good thumping I was released.

I was dragging my badly bruised and battered body back to my rusty err trusty steed when I found my wallet abandoned and unopened.

Proof of the pelferous little bastids endeavours to open it lay scattered around, themic lance, semtex, and 3 or 4 crow bars, fooken kids it will take more than that to open my wallet it didn?t even have a scratch on it

Anyway back to the plot I can report that good progress has been made this afternoon and thanks to Steve (Maps-R-Us) I am now in Belper and have found a luxury 3*** litterbin for the night.

Best regards

Cyclops (World rider)


:beer: