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Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister’s chauffeur driven car.
Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving."
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
" You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
" My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies: " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me."
" What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola.
" I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving."
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
" You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
" My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies: " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me."
" What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola.
" I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
I think it's summat to do with wendyball, Jose Moronio and his useless team.
"The ugly gene is strong in this family" [wheeze].
Sat on the bed last night & pulled my boxers off, wife says I spoil those dogs.
Sex Life..
You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young Woman's surgery.
She asked, "How long will it be before I can resume my normal sex life Doctor ?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened, and a small tear ran down his cheek.
The girl was surprised. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Oh yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young Woman's surgery.
She asked, "How long will it be before I can resume my normal sex life Doctor ?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened, and a small tear ran down his cheek.
The girl was surprised. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Oh yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
