Daily Smile thread

[derek kelly]

Thats why a t-cake in Yakshire is not a t-cake in Lanky land.

Powder went into caps, caps went into toy guns so therefore it was gunpowder.
Tea cakes have tea in them.
Wtf goes into a barm cake?

 

[ogr1]

Powder went into caps, caps went into toy guns so therefore it was gunpowder.
Tea cakes have tea in them.
Wtf goes into a barm cake?

Chips.

 

[DLN1965]

Domestic servicing needed !

 

[Jaws]

e always called it gunpowder.

Well calling a cow a camel still don't give it humps !

 

[Jaws]

Domestic servicing needed !

Gimp mask works..... ( so I have been told )

 

[derek kelly]

Well calling a cow a camel still don't give it humps !

Stick it on concrete instead of grass & that will give it the hump.

 

[andyBeaker]

I,like watching the green keeper letting off Bird scarers. Especially on a calm day when the smoke doesn't disperse quickly

 

[Squag1]

Well calling a cow a camel still don't give it humps !

 

[Centaur]

That is feckin hilarious.

 

[jeffa]

Poor camel

 

[Minkey]

I feel sorry for the camel

 

[andyBeaker]

I got the hump and I haven't even watched the video.

 

[JayTee]

That poor feckin camel .

 

[Malone]

 

[Minkey]

A wise old woman once told her daughter.
My girl, when you accumulate the understanding to know why a pizza is made round to be put in a square box, and is eaten in triangles, then and only then will you be able to understand men

 

[Cougar377]

A wise old woman once told her daughter.
My girl, when you accumulate the understanding to know why a pizza is made round to be put in a square box, and is eaten in triangles, then and only then will you be able to understand men

Same logic as women having the hair in their eyebrows removed so that they can have pretend eyebrows tattooed on in their place.

 

[Malone]

I went to the local garden centre ( dragged there complaining ) and had a brief walk with the dog. Then I saw the sign and the water behind. No way will that ever get deep.

 

[derek kelly]

I went to the local garden centre ( dragged there complaining ) and had a brief walk with the dog. Then I saw the sign and the water behind. No way will that ever get deep. View attachment 49938

Dare you to jump in & take a picture to show us how deep it is.

 

[Malone]

A man goes to the Doctors.
"Okay what is your problem," asks the Doc.
"It's rather embarrassing Doctor, I've developed pre ejaculation and the missus is really not very happy. Can you help?" said the man.
After a full physical examination the Doctor could find nothing wrong, so he said maybe the man should try shock treatment.
"What!, you mean like stick my finger in the plug socket during sex?" Exclaimed a very nervous man.
"No, what I mean is, when you are about to pop, give yourself a scare to take your mind momentarily off the act" replied the Doctor. "Look, when you leave here, call into the sports shop and buy a starting pistol. Use that to provide the shock"
So the man gets a starting pistol and arrives home to find his wife, ready and waiting. After some kissing and cuddling, they find themselves in the 69 position, the man feels the excitement building too quickly. After 5 minutes he fires the pistol.
At the Doctors the next day, he was asked how things went.
"Not very well," came the answer." "I fired the pistol like you said, and my wife shit on my face and almost bit my cock off. Then the next door neighbour, jumped out of the wardrobe stark naked with his hands in the air"

 

[Squag1]

I went to the local garden centre ( dragged there complaining ) and had a brief walk with the dog. Then I saw the sign and the water behind. No way will that ever get deep. View attachment 49938

Depends on your age - kids in garden centres??