• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

derek kelly

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Just discovered I have a rare talent, I can melt ice cubes just by staring at them, ok it takes a few hours but it works.
 
Malone

Malone

Been there, and had one
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Excuse me doctor “ why do you have an anal thermometer behind your ear?”


“Bugger it, some bum’s walked off with my pencil”
 
Squag1

Squag1

Can't remember....
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Truckload of toilet paper and hand sanitiser was hijacked.
Cops said they made a clean getaway.
 
derek kelly

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Lorry delivering toilets to Police hq has been hijacked, Police say they’ve nothing to go on.
Thank you two Ronnies.
 
Malone

Malone

Been there, and had one
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I was in the supermarket this morning, it was absolutely crammed with people panic buying.

I simply coughed twice and sneezed three times and I soon had the whole place to myself.
 
andyBeaker

andyBeaker

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
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Day Two without football. Had to start talking to my wife, just found out that she doesn’t work at Woolworths anymore.
 
derek kelly

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
In my local supermarket I noticed a guy with a trolley stacked full of toilet rolls & hand sanitizers, I said “you selfish bastard, you ought to be ashamed of yourself” he replied “yeah, ok, can I get on with stacking the shelves now?”
 
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