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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ..
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you Bloody Retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ..
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you Bloody Retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
Pinching this
Copied and used elsewhere. My sister helps “settusfree” a rehoming scheme for abused Setters from Europe, she’ll love this one.
Went to one of those retro 60's, 70's and 80's discos last night. Talk about nostalgia...
They played The Twist, I did the Twist....they played Jump, I Jumped...they played Come on Eileen..... the court case is next Tuesday.
They played The Twist, I did the Twist....they played Jump, I Jumped...they played Come on Eileen..... the court case is next Tuesday.
“Hello, is that Mr Jones?”
“Yes, speaking”
“I’m Mr Smith, Headmaster at your son Johnny’s school”
“What’s he done now?”
“Well I think we’ve a budding Elvis Presley on our hands”
“Really?”
“Yes, we’ve just found him dead on the toilet”
“Yes, speaking”
“I’m Mr Smith, Headmaster at your son Johnny’s school”
“What’s he done now?”
“Well I think we’ve a budding Elvis Presley on our hands”
“Really?”
“Yes, we’ve just found him dead on the toilet”
