• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

Quiney

Registered User
Having a chat with a bloke over a pint in my local last night. I discovered he was worth around £4 million and he told me the amazing story of how he got so rich.
Basically when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell. He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time. He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up, he then sold it for profit. He then used the money to buy another and so on. He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again. He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years. Even during the real bad times he plugged away. He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal. Then his uncle died and left him £4 million.
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
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Yep. Even the vermin are pissed off with the vermin who run our railways.
 

DLN1965

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Yep. Even the vermin are pissed off with the vermin who run our railways.

THANKYOU Cougar ....
Actually the staff on the Underground do an amazing job .... Victoria line for example runs 36 trains per hours in peak (a train in less than 2 minutes !)
There are far more delays caused by drunk or stupid people and those that hold the doors when they board (there’s often another train less than 2 minutes away !)

AND the ‘Underground’ and ‘railways’ are run by entirely different companies.
As these mice were on the Underground platform, they are no where near ‘our railway’.

London Underground despite its Victorian infrastructure is the highest used in Europe
ALMOST 11 million passenger journeys in ONE day in Dec 2019.

Just saying ......
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
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THANKYOU Cougar ....
Actually the staff on the Underground do an amazing job .... Victoria line for example runs 36 trains per hours in peak (a train in less than 2 minutes !)
There are far more delays caused by drunk or stupid people and those that hold the doors when they board (there’s often another train less than 2 minutes away !)

AND the ‘Underground’ and ‘railways’ are run by entirely different companies.
As these mice were on the Underground platform, they are no where near ‘our railway’.

London Underground despite its Victorian infrastructure is the highest used in Europe
ALMOST 11 million passenger journeys in ONE day in Dec 2019.

Just saying ......
Sorry DLN.... I meant the railways, mate, and specifically I meant the twats who run them in favour of their shareholders instead of the long suffering passengers.

No offence was intended towards the largely thankless underground staff, who as you say, keep a massive network running smoothly under often trying circumstances. (y)
 

DLN1965

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Sorry DLN.... I meant the railways, mate, and specifically I meant the twats who run them in favour of their shareholders instead of the long suffering passengers.

No offence was intended towards the largely thankless underground staff, who as you say, keep a massive network running smoothly under often trying circumstances. (y)

As I am one of those thankless members of staff .... no offence was taken (y)

Just claiming those mice to be ‘ours’.... (on a ‘tube platform’ )... not railway mice as they are definitely vermin (y)
 

ianrobbo1

good looking AND modest
As I am one of those thankless members of staff .... no offence was taken (y)

Just claiming those mice to be ‘ours’.... (on a ‘tube platform’ )... not railway mice as they are definitely vermin (y)
Our kids eldest works for the underground, permanent nights, he says its great, a wad of cash each month looked after by bosses that listen and the only downside is the drink and drug tests they have to go through, which doesn't bother our Louis, as he won't drink, doesn't take drugs and loves the job far too much.
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
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[QUOTE="ianrobbo1, post: 867139, member: 341”]a wad of cash each month looked after by bosses[/QUOTE]

why do the bosses look after his cash ?
 

Quiney

Registered User
Sex and Grammar.

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' "When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked "How do I stop the medicine from working?" Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,
"1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle
 

ogr1

I can still see ya.....
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Sorry DLN.... I meant the railways, mate, and specifically I meant the twats who run them in favour of their shareholders instead of the long suffering passengers.

No offence was intended towards the largely thankless underground staff, who as you say, keep a massive network running smoothly under often trying circumstances. (y)

You sniffling litle mouse.:crybaby2::jaja-no:
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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New legislation regarding ladders, due to people banging their shins on the rungs all new ladders rungs are to be an additional two inches apart, all due to climb it change.
 
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