1. Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
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Daily Smile thread

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by Jaws, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member Moderator

    An arctic truck is delivering water melons to Liverpool.

    It stops to help two hells angels whose Harley has broken down.


    Seeing as it’s raining, the truck driver offers to place the two and their bike in the back and drive them to Liverpool.

    Some miles down the road, the truck is stopped by a police car.

    “What have you in the back, Sir?”

    “Scouse eggs!”

    “Scouse eggs?, let me check”

    The truck driver walks around to the back and opens the truck door.

    The policeman recoils in fear and pulls out his radio......


    “Sarge, Sarge!! I’ve just stopped a truck load of scouse eggs. Two of them have hatched and they’ve already nicked a Harley!”
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Great stuff ! Great stuff ! x 1
  2. Malone

    Malone Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

  3. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member Moderator

  4. T.C

    T.C Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Sod Hall.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Great stuff ! Great stuff ! x 1
  5. T.C

    T.C Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

  6. Lee337

    Lee337 Confused Poster Club Sponsor

    Nope, must be weird, I started from the top & worked my way down.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    And me.
     
  8. T.C

    T.C Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    And yet I read it in exactly the order it said I would :eek:
     
  9. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    And me
     
  10. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member Moderator

    And me.. sorry TC.
    I would have thought it was right, but it seems folk on here are a bit more methodical than most :)
     
  11. Minkey

    Minkey Ok it was me Club Sponsor

    me tooo
     
  12. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member Moderator

    • Like Like x 1
  13. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    B7EFE3FA-6BC5-4062-95B3-8DB961A7F03A.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  14. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member Moderator

    A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

    Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air and handed it back.

    'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

    They enjoyed a wonderful dinner togethr, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

    After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

    The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

    'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

    'No,' she replied...……..
    .
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    Wait for it...…….
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    It's coming.……...
    .
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    The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
    .
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    She said......….

    'You just happened to catch my eye.'
     
  15. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  16. T.C

    T.C Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    The worry is that Yes, I remember them all :(

    Do you remember.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Malone

    Malone Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Never knew a Kalie - perhaps you meant Katie ?
     
  18. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    40301A0E-DEC8-4C52-B36E-DAE67D489042.jpeg BA325D43-5E92-4356-B6BA-B877C7D83709.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. T.C

    T.C Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    How should I know? I did not write it :rolleyes::p

    But if memory serves, Kalie used to also be a term for something like sherbert. Maybe memory is playing tricks with me, but I do seem t remember that it was a name of a confectionary before it was popular as a girls name.
     
  20. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    • Informative Informative x 1

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