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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Would I lie to you?
- Thread starter andyBeaker
- Start date
Winner.It could be 4 as I have no idea who Gary Newman is. I do, however, know who Gary Numan is....
I am going with 3 as she was gorgeous, way out of your league
Not me. My cousin, Peter went out with her briefly while at school. Her mother banned her from seeing him after he took her (not the mother) to a football match.
She wasn't known as Sheena Easton then.
1. I once told "rocket" Ron Haslam to slow down
2. I achieved a Karate black belt
3. like jaws I have climbed a radio mast
4. in my teens I spent 9 months on the road, just me a bike & a doss bag
5. I was ejected from backstage at a Saxon concert
6. I have been on trial at crown court
2. I achieved a Karate black belt
3. like jaws I have climbed a radio mast
4. in my teens I spent 9 months on the road, just me a bike & a doss bag
5. I was ejected from backstage at a Saxon concert
6. I have been on trial at crown court
1) Sooner or later EVERYONE who has anything to do with USAF gets this. Even Woman was held at gunpoint, mop and bucket in hand !
2) But flashing what I ask
3) She will go out with any one who has two bob in their pocket
4) In a taxi ?
5) rare that houses fall down due to a lightning strike so I reckon this is the fib
6) I have been stabbed, shot and whipped on the bak with a bike chain over the years, all by friends and all by accident ( though nowadays I tend to pick mates a bit more carefully ! )
Yup.. I will go with 5
2) But flashing what I ask
3) She will go out with any one who has two bob in their pocket
4) In a taxi ?
5) rare that houses fall down due to a lightning strike so I reckon this is the fib
6) I have been stabbed, shot and whipped on the bak with a bike chain over the years, all by friends and all by accident ( though nowadays I tend to pick mates a bit more carefully ! )
Yup.. I will go with 5
No. 3....if your Avatar name is anything to go by then you'd have been blown off and still be floating around in the upper atmosphere.
Number 3 is true I have climbed many things, radio masts being some of the tallest
@Jaws you missed the boat there mate
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Do,try and keep up you daft old sod
I'll go for number 5 - I can't imagine anyone being ejected from backstage at at Saxon concert
Keep up laddie..! Beaker was declared the winner a few posts back, with no. 3.
No. 4 is the fib. I reckon you waited until you were 20
Here you go , Jaws. All the sordid details...
1) Sooner or later EVERYONE who has anything to do with USAF gets this. Even Woman was held at gunpoint, mop and bucket in hand !
On detachment to Greenham, assisting the USAF cops with keeping the smelly lesbo peace campers out of the base. Went on the piss into Kingsclere one night and on the way back in we were stopped at the camp gates by a USAF plod who we all knew well. Normal stuff, show ID. Only cos we knew him (and he knew all of us) we said "come on mate, you know us" and tried to continue. Next thing, Roy Rogers draws his pistol and points it at us. This prompted his oppo to do the same, and then two more USAF plods sprang out of a parked USAF patrol car and did likewise. It all got a bit silly and we all ended up being docked 3 days pay and confined to camp for a month.
2) But flashing what I ask
On the piss in Wendover. In the loo and I get my ballbag caught in my zip and it's bleeding rather a lot. One of my best oppos at the time was a medic on the squadron so I thought it best to consult him. Only I had to walk almost the entire length of the pub to find the twat. Cue much merriment before they held me down on a pub table and my mate did the evil deed and pulled the zip down in double quick time. Landlord banned me.
3) She will go out with any one who has two bob in their pocket
Answered previously for Beaker. This was the lie.
4) In a taxi ?
Gary Numan (happy Beaker..?) landed his Harvard at Odiham one time. I was tasked to drive him across the base to the officers mess (where nobody bar the stewards recognised him) where he had lunch with some of the aircrew before taking a taxi to London (and back again). Really nice, down to earth guy. Loves his aircraft.
5) rare that houses fall down due to a lightning strike so I reckon this is the fib
During a storm, my grannies house was indeed struck by lightning, causing one wall to partially collapse. We were staying with her at the time and I was in a cradle in one of the rooms that the wall fell into. Due to the thunder, I was wailing fit to burst, so my mum took me into the living room. Soon after that, the lightning struck. The house had to be evacuated and the next day the weakened roof fell in.
6) I have been stabbed, shot and whipped on the bak with a bike chain over the years, all by friends and all by accident ( though nowadays I tend to pick mates a bit more carefully ! )
Me and my best mate at school decided to try that game you see in cowboy and war movies where you lay your hand flat, spread the fingers and then flick a knife quickly between each finger. We didn't have a knife so we used a sharpened pencil.
I've still got a very faint lead mark in the back of my hand where he got carried away and stabbed me with it.
@andyBeaker Number 5 it true I was ejected from backstage but not from the gig
@Pow-Lo Number 4 is true I was 17 at the time & came back on my 18th birthday
@Pow-Lo Number 4 is true I was 17 at the time & came back on my 18th birthday
Number six just has to be true.
So I'll go for number 1, probably relates to some sort of 'male bonding' that rufty tufts bikers go in for.
We have a winner
Although I did martial arts for around 28 years in different forms I didn't achieve a black belt because I didn't take the gradings, quite amusing when some smart arse black belt tried to kick the arse of a lowly green belt & couldn't
As for the others...
1 I did tell rocket Ron to slow down when he was acting the twat riding through Mallory paddock at 30mph, "Oi slow down you twat" were the words I think & he did
3 I used to climb anything in sight long before it became popular with youtube kids, if I could get access radio masts were just par for the course
4 I really did go on the road for 9 months living on the land & working where I could & dossing in bus shelters & hedge bottoms on occasion, a great adventure for a 17 year old that gave me a lifetime of good stories
5 It used to be a challenge between a few mates to see who could get backstage I have been ejected from a few gigs because of it but one where I almost got to the dressing room door before being kicked out was Saxon
6 yes I have been on trial for an offence I really didn't commit which should explain my hatred of the police force, they knew damn well I didn't do it but wanted a conviction anyway & thought I was an easy target
Over to you @Jaws
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It's way past his @Jaws bed time so I'll sneak a cheeky one in to keep you lot on your toes overnight....
- I went out with James Hunt's sister for a while
- I went out with the daughter of a Black and White Minstrel for a while
- I once helped Roger Daltrey reverse his car into a parking space
- I once left my U lock on the front wheel of a scooter when the rider annoyed me
- I once brought £30m worth of bearer share certificates home with me after a client meeting and slept with them under my pillow for safety
- One of Lenny Henry's tv characters was based on me when I was his bank manager