Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by Jaws, Aug 8, 2017.
As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.
Today I was amazed and amused at the Hippocrates on this thread found on a motor home site, So "someone" put it on an HGV site, It's all kicking off on facey
Looks like three diesels to me.
"My wife left a note on the fridge,
""It's not working. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my mums house!""
I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. What is she talking about?"
Doesn't matter how good you think you are there is always someone better....
The suspense is killing me
I was assuming they were all diesel BMWs
Amazing what comes to light during a good world cup
The council down here we're moving on motorhomes this morning from yhrmseafront.
Apparently the owners can't read the numerous 'no overnight parking' signs.
People who try to make out how worse off they are than anyone else really piss me off, my mate Trevor lost both his legs & his voice in an accident but does he make a song & dance about it?
Waitress, "Are you ready to order sir?"
Me, "My wife's at the toilet"
Waitress, "Any idea what she's having?"
Me, "Well she's been ten minutes so I'd say a shit"
Today I will mostly be attempting to unstick my balls from my inner thigh...
Two crocodiles lazing in a river, one says "I can't understand why you're so much bigger than me, we're the same age, we live in the same river & we both eat politicians"
The second one says "How do you eat your politicians?"
The first one says "Well I crawl up the riverbank, I lay under one of their Lexus cars & wait, as they are getting in their cars I leap out & grab them by the leg, I shake the shit out of them then drag them to the river & eat them"
"Ah" says the second croc "that's where you are going wrong, you see once you have shaken the shit out of them all you are left with is an arsehole & a briefcase."
[Jeremy Hunt arrives at Foreign Office]
Hunt: So when do we start privatising? Shall we sell off Peru?
Adviser: It doesn’t work like that.
Hunt: India? My friends at Virgin would love to run India.
Hunt: We'll still call it India. No-one will know.