Daily Smile thread

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by Jaws, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

    As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.
     
    andybirdless likes this.
  2. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

    Today I was amazed and amused at the Hippocrates on this thread found on a motor home site, So "someone" put it on an HGV site, It's all kicking off on facey :rolleyes::D:sifone: 36684837_10155477927291975_7997513685390065664_o.jpg
     
  3. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Looks like three diesels to me.
     
  4. T.C

    T.C Old Hand Club Sponsor

    "My wife left a note on the fridge,

    ""It's not working. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my mums house!""

    I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. What is she talking about?"
     
    andybirdless and Quiney like this.
  5. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

  6. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

  7. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

    36685997_2087299791593600_4359589245086597120_n.jpg
     
    slim63 likes this.
  8. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

  9. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Doesn't matter how good you think you are there is always someone better....







































































    IMG_1258.JPG
     
    Centaur likes this.
  10. Squag1

    Squag1 Old Hand Club Sponsor

    The suspense is killing me :rolleyes:
     
  11. Squag1

    Squag1 Old Hand Club Sponsor

    I was assuming they were all diesel BMWs
     
  12. T.C

    T.C Old Hand Club Sponsor

    Amazing what comes to light during a good world cup :)
    Amazing.jpg
     
  13. andybirdless

    andybirdless Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    The council down here we're moving on motorhomes this morning from yhrmseafront.

    Apparently the owners can't read the numerous 'no overnight parking' signs.
     
  14. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    People who try to make out how worse off they are than anyone else really piss me off, my mate Trevor lost both his legs & his voice in an accident but does he make a song & dance about it?
     
    slim63, ianrobbo1 and Centaur like this.
  15. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

  16. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

  17. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Waitress, "Are you ready to order sir?"
    Me, "My wife's at the toilet"
    Waitress, "Any idea what she's having?"
    Me, "Well she's been ten minutes so I'd say a shit"
     
    slim63 and T.C like this.
  18. T.C

    T.C Old Hand Club Sponsor

    Today I will mostly be attempting to unstick my balls from my inner thigh...

    Ball unsticker.jpg
     
    ianrobbo1 likes this.
  19. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Two crocodiles lazing in a river, one says "I can't understand why you're so much bigger than me, we're the same age, we live in the same river & we both eat politicians"
    The second one says "How do you eat your politicians?"
    The first one says "Well I crawl up the riverbank, I lay under one of their Lexus cars & wait, as they are getting in their cars I leap out & grab them by the leg, I shake the shit out of them then drag them to the river & eat them"
    "Ah" says the second croc "that's where you are going wrong, you see once you have shaken the shit out of them all you are left with is an arsehole & a briefcase."
     
  20. T.C

    T.C Old Hand Club Sponsor

    [Jeremy Hunt arrives at Foreign Office]

    Hunt: So when do we start privatising? Shall we sell off Peru?

    Adviser: It doesn’t work like that.

    Hunt: India? My friends at Virgin would love to run India.

    Adviser: No.

    Hunt: We'll still call it India. No-one will know.

    Adviser: No!
     
    Cougar377 likes this.

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