C
COOL^J
Guest
just to let you know bert that TITAN and his better half will be going to.
-
Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
F
fat bert
Guest
Cheers mate~~
and YOU???
and YOU???
C
COOL^J
Guest
yes mate I'm coming down with my other half to I'm bringing titan and Von down.Titan did not want to drive so he can have a shandy.
F
fat bert
Guest
F
fat bert
Guest
F
fat bert
Guest
and will remain stick until~~~
said date
Just like the Derby thread was sticky until the morning after [oooo errr]
Now stop ya whinging and get better soon
said date
Just like the Derby thread was sticky until the morning after [oooo errr]
Now stop ya whinging and get better soon
gypsy
MAN on the PAN
"LATEST UPDATE"
More trouble for Cyclops on route to Matlock i'm afraid due to unforseen problems with Cyc's left leg ?
Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) the route director hasn't allowed for the fact that Berts Velcro (rented for the event at no small expense) failure means that on sharp left turns Cyc's foot falls off the peg creating a side stand effect.
The revised route will take us across "Criche hill" yes i did say HILL !
So while Superbird1100 finalises the new route Cyc gets a
well earned (theres a first ! ) rest.
No rest for the bike though !
Cyc's managed to hire the bike out to a couple of local farmers that need fields "rotavating" in return for the much needed " red diesel"
On the mechanical front after the dramas of losing both bar end tassles and the tool roll ( donated by Toys R us) if that wasn't enough! problems have occured with the wheel spoke clickers !
The method of clamping these on as suggested by Chief Mechanic
Bert ( should new oil look this black?) which turns out to be his own bloody rented Velcro has failed again! So now were left with option of trying to fix the clickers more securely or hearing the shitty noise the excuse for an engine gives out!
ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL THIS SITE ? PLEASE
Finally a mention for a few sponcers:
Saga
Brilcream
Camel watchers monthly (our motto is "be quick! you dont want to end up with an ugly fecker!)
13 miles 7 to go
More trouble for Cyclops on route to Matlock i'm afraid due to unforseen problems with Cyc's left leg ?
Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) the route director hasn't allowed for the fact that Berts Velcro (rented for the event at no small expense) failure means that on sharp left turns Cyc's foot falls off the peg creating a side stand effect.
The revised route will take us across "Criche hill" yes i did say HILL !
So while Superbird1100 finalises the new route Cyc gets a
well earned (theres a first ! ) rest.
No rest for the bike though !
Cyc's managed to hire the bike out to a couple of local farmers that need fields "rotavating" in return for the much needed " red diesel"
On the mechanical front after the dramas of losing both bar end tassles and the tool roll ( donated by Toys R us) if that wasn't enough! problems have occured with the wheel spoke clickers !
The method of clamping these on as suggested by Chief Mechanic
Bert ( should new oil look this black?) which turns out to be his own bloody rented Velcro has failed again! So now were left with option of trying to fix the clickers more securely or hearing the shitty noise the excuse for an engine gives out!
ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL THIS SITE ? PLEASE
Finally a mention for a few sponcers:
Saga
Brilcream
Camel watchers monthly (our motto is "be quick! you dont want to end up with an ugly fecker!)
13 miles 7 to go
Cyclops
Registered User
Latest Update 05/03/2004
good news for once my sponsers Toys R Us have relaced the Tool Roll.
Two new bar end tassles in pink have been donated by Berts friends at the local gay bar ( Nice Boys Only ) after a whip round. Bert says his arse is a bit sore after the whip round but its in a good cause so it`s OK, and the KYs taking the sting out.
After cleaning my bike, boy does that mud get everywhere ? I managed to obtain the Red diesal from the farmer and set off to Matlock.
Doh more bad news I`m afraid
After getting down the hill and following Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) the route directors new route, I made a left turn into the Wirksworth duck pond. This had the unfortuate effect of stopping the engine and allowing a spill of red diesal into the pond.
I am now being detained by the
Local police for dangerous driving and being in charge of an agruculural vichcal without a liecsense.
The Customs and Excise for using Red Diesal without a farming permit
and
The Matlock and District wildlife consevationists for endangering the local wildlife.
As ever I remain optimistic and trust that Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) the route director will plan a new route for me.
I still have 6 days to go and am determined to make the last remaining 7 miles. it will be an uphill struggle, unless Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) can plan a route avoiding hills.
I must make the effort as I dont want to disappoint Bert who has arranged a recepton for me by the local chapter of the Gay Hells Angels ( Motto: We take it up the tailpipe) )
And the following sponsers without whose help this monumental trip would not have been possible.
Nice Boys Only ( Berts local Gay Bar)
Toys r Us
Saga
Brilcream
Camel watchers monthly (our motto is "be quick! you dont want to end up with an ugly fecker!)
Regards
Cyclops
8l1nd
good news for once my sponsers Toys R Us have relaced the Tool Roll.
Two new bar end tassles in pink have been donated by Berts friends at the local gay bar ( Nice Boys Only ) after a whip round. Bert says his arse is a bit sore after the whip round but its in a good cause so it`s OK, and the KYs taking the sting out.
After cleaning my bike, boy does that mud get everywhere ? I managed to obtain the Red diesal from the farmer and set off to Matlock.
Doh more bad news I`m afraid
After getting down the hill and following Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) the route directors new route, I made a left turn into the Wirksworth duck pond. This had the unfortuate effect of stopping the engine and allowing a spill of red diesal into the pond.
I am now being detained by the
Local police for dangerous driving and being in charge of an agruculural vichcal without a liecsense.
The Customs and Excise for using Red Diesal without a farming permit
and
The Matlock and District wildlife consevationists for endangering the local wildlife.
As ever I remain optimistic and trust that Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) the route director will plan a new route for me.
I still have 6 days to go and am determined to make the last remaining 7 miles. it will be an uphill struggle, unless Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) can plan a route avoiding hills.
I must make the effort as I dont want to disappoint Bert who has arranged a recepton for me by the local chapter of the Gay Hells Angels ( Motto: We take it up the tailpipe) )
And the following sponsers without whose help this monumental trip would not have been possible.
Nice Boys Only ( Berts local Gay Bar)
Toys r Us
Saga
Brilcream
Camel watchers monthly (our motto is "be quick! you dont want to end up with an ugly fecker!)
Regards
Cyclops
8l1nd
Supabird1100
Registered User
I'm Working On It Now Cyclops......
I've realised my earlier mistakes......The Marine training has made me use map references that civilians can't understand.
I'm plotting you a new and revised route.....this will take the form of 'Do a left at the Kings Head Public House' and 'Take a right at the McDonalds Burger Bar'.
This should assist you greatly in your quest...... and I will avoid and areas that have duck-ponds !!!!!
Steve (Maps-R-Us)
:beer:
I've realised my earlier mistakes......The Marine training has made me use map references that civilians can't understand.
I'm plotting you a new and revised route.....this will take the form of 'Do a left at the Kings Head Public House' and 'Take a right at the McDonalds Burger Bar'.
This should assist you greatly in your quest...... and I will avoid and areas that have duck-ponds !!!!!
Steve (Maps-R-Us)
:beer:
Cyclops
Registered User
Cheers Steve
Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) :bow:
I have had two bits of good news today
1) I should be out of the Wirksworth Stocks by lunchtime.
and
2) Fastpost Couriers ( Motto: We get the fooker there without delay) have just delivered a new set of wheel clickers donated by the Derby day nursery ( motto: leave the little basids with us )
and even now the Wirksworth village idiot Fart Tart ( a Gay relation to FB ) is fitting them.
Steve (Superbird1100 i'm a marine) when planing the route please remember no left turns as I am blind on that side.
Cheers Cyclops
:beer:
Superbird1100 ( i'm a marine) :bow:
I have had two bits of good news today
1) I should be out of the Wirksworth Stocks by lunchtime.
and
2) Fastpost Couriers ( Motto: We get the fooker there without delay) have just delivered a new set of wheel clickers donated by the Derby day nursery ( motto: leave the little basids with us )
and even now the Wirksworth village idiot Fart Tart ( a Gay relation to FB ) is fitting them.
Steve (Superbird1100 i'm a marine) when planing the route please remember no left turns as I am blind on that side.
Cheers Cyclops
:beer:
Supabird1100
Registered User
OK Cyclops......Sussed It !!!!............
Wherever a left turn is required you must go right.....next right..... and then right again. This will bring you back to the main road again, where you can then go straight across !!!!! This puts you back on course.
My only concern is the extra fuel you will use by taking these diversions.....so in light of this I would like to donate a pair of black, studded leather, two buckle saddlebags that I removed from one of my old bikes to enable you to carry some spare fuel cans.
I hope this meets with your approval.:beer:
Steve
Wherever a left turn is required you must go right.....next right..... and then right again. This will bring you back to the main road again, where you can then go straight across !!!!! This puts you back on course.
My only concern is the extra fuel you will use by taking these diversions.....so in light of this I would like to donate a pair of black, studded leather, two buckle saddlebags that I removed from one of my old bikes to enable you to carry some spare fuel cans.
I hope this meets with your approval.:beer:
Steve
Cyclops
Registered User
Great news indeed
if you can get them over to me by 1:00PM by Fastpost Couriers ( Motto: We get the fooker there without delay)
I will get the Wirksworth village idiot Fart Tart ( a Gay relation to FB ) to fit them he has also refitted the velcro pads for my left leg.
I have enclosed a photo of Fart Tart the family resembelance is uncanny
if you can get them over to me by 1:00PM by Fastpost Couriers ( Motto: We get the fooker there without delay)
I will get the Wirksworth village idiot Fart Tart ( a Gay relation to FB ) to fit them he has also refitted the velcro pads for my left leg.
I have enclosed a photo of Fart Tart the family resembelance is uncanny
Attachments
Supabird1100
Registered User
Saddlebags Are Dispatched !!!!!
They are winging their way to you as we speak by Fastpost Couriers ( Motto: We get the fooker there without delay) !!!
I can see the FB family traits in the photo, Cyclops. The pink ear decoration gives the game away, doesn't it ????
:} :}
They are winging their way to you as we speak by Fastpost Couriers ( Motto: We get the fooker there without delay) !!!
I can see the FB family traits in the photo, Cyclops. The pink ear decoration gives the game away, doesn't it ????
:} :}
F
fat bert
Guest
Nice to see~~~
light hearted banter dominating [ooo errr] the forum again!!
You may laugh at all this mularky BUT a lot of it is nearer to the truth about Cyclops [motto I'm a tosser and don't I know it] than you think
Pssssssssssssssst - has ANYONE told Cyclops that we're actually meeting in Coalville now?
If not, Mums the word!!!
light hearted banter dominating [ooo errr] the forum again!!
You may laugh at all this mularky BUT a lot of it is nearer to the truth about Cyclops [motto I'm a tosser and don't I know it] than you think
Pssssssssssssssst - has ANYONE told Cyclops that we're actually meeting in Coalville now?
If not, Mums the word!!!
Cyclops
Registered User
Yeah daed givaway
he did have one in the other ears, but it got ripped off by the back wheel of my bike when he was fitting the rear Clicker
Update: Should be away by 13:30 Hours ( thats 1:30pm real time ) the only problem on the horizen is a gang of yobbo`s that have gathered by the Stocks
he did have one in the other ears, but it got ripped off by the back wheel of my bike when he was fitting the rear Clicker
Update: Should be away by 13:30 Hours ( thats 1:30pm real time ) the only problem on the horizen is a gang of yobbo`s that have gathered by the Stocks
Attachments
F
fat bert
Guest
Take it then Lim Plump~~~
that you won't be attending?
that you won't be attending?
ianrobbo1
good looking AND modest
the other ''round'' fella
''Lumpy'' seems to mention the ''hetrosexual'' side of things in a lot of his posts,!! :dunno:
I wonder why that would be,!!!
who was it said summat like, me thinks the ''lady'' doth protest too much,!!
kettle, pot, Bert, black,
seems odd does it not,??
''Lumpy'' seems to mention the ''hetrosexual'' side of things in a lot of his posts,!! :dunno:
I wonder why that would be,!!!
who was it said summat like, me thinks the ''lady'' doth protest too much,!!
kettle, pot, Bert, black,
seems odd does it not,??