This gets better - whatever prick installed the first floor floorboards (the big chipboard sheet jobs) they used short inadequate stupid clout style nails when replacing them. That might explain why they squeak like crazy.
The surveyor said all the boards needed to come up and extra noggins put in and also that the boards needed replacing as they did not lock together (they do). And that with no carpet laid in two of the rooms in question.
Probably the same surveyor that said my son's new house had rising damp at the front, but didn't notice that the downpipe in the same location stopped about four inches short of the guttering at roof level. Strangely we sorted the guttering when he moved in and hey, guess what, the 'rising damp' has gone.