You'll like this Dogs and snow

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by Jaws, Dec 5, 2018.

  1. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    Responsible pet owners arrange dog walkers, kennels or similar arrangements. Neither can be left alone for, say, the owners to go away on a two week holiday.

    Cats poo everywhere, without distinction.
     
  2. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    Cats are petrol, right enough. Gay, gutless and owned by benders and the myopic muppets that own them don't realise that they cause more damage to the environment than diesels.

    Responsible owners clean up after their dogs; not really possible with a cat that shits everywhere indiscriminately. And when Tiddles has finished digging around his own shite and scratches you, you can end up with a pretty nasty infection. So yes, cats are definitely petrol.
     
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  3. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    When was the last time you saw a blind person walking down the street being assisted by a guide cat?

    Not sure I've ever seen the police take down a bad guy with a cat? Do the police even have a cat unit?

    Never seen customs officers screening luggage with a drug cat.

    Never seen the army looking for bombs with a sniffer cat either.

    Don't recall seeing a cat in the mountains with a small keg of brandy around it's neck.

    Face it, dogs are way better than cats. Fact.
     
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  4. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    All proves how stupid dogs are..they are so easily exploited and think that getting thirty seconds with a tennis ball is the whole of their universe.

    Also, when was the last time you saw a dog walk along the top of a fence about 8mm thick? When was the last time you saw a dog on the shed roof sunning itself? When was the last time you saw a dog sleep"for 14 hours unbroken?
     
  5. johnboy

    johnboy rather fond of a cream bun Club Sponsor

    Sorry I have too much time on my hands today
     
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  6. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member

    Dillon has been to about 20 countries !
    He has not crapped in the garden since he was a puppy
    Dogs get you meeting and talking to folk
    Dogs ensure you get exercise
     
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  7. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    Loved the CARCA one. "....experimenting with the quick deployment of the avalanche rescue cat...." :risas3::risas3::risas3:
     
  8. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    A dog walking along a fence 8 mm thick? You really are a tool. Seriously. That's like asking when was the last time I saw an artic filtering through traffic on the M25.

    I had a dog sunning itself on my garage roof; I had a tiered garden which allowed the dog access.

    My dog could have slept for 14 hours straight if she'd wanted to. However, she had better things to do than waste her life sleeping.
     
  9. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    If you walk into a house where a dog resides you know straight away as the house stinks. The only people that can't smell it are the owners. Probably as they stink of dog as well.

    If you walk into a house where a cat resides you can't smell it...... it is always a lovely surprise when it greets you by rubbing itself against your leg while purring.
     
  10. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    There you go again with your selective comments.

    A cat can walk along a fence 8mm thick and a dog can't so you just dismiss it.

    Dogs are rubbish at walking along fences.

    Get over it. (Not the fence)
     
  11. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    Not quite. One of ours is a neutered tom and a total coward when confronted by another cat. Usually he has to be rescued by his sister (who's half as heavy again as him). Consequently he's completely neurotic (even for a cat) and will spray in the house because it's the only territory that he feels safe in and he's too chicken to do it in the garden. When I actually catch the little bastid in the act of spraying I'm going to drop kick him into next doors garden.

    If the RSPCA are reading this....just kidding. Probably.
     
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  12. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    Most dogs are significantly larger than cats, which you have selectively chosen to ignore.

    Dogs are far better at chasing cats than cats are at chasing dogs.
     
  13. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    My house never smelt of dog because we don;t have carpets and we don't have fabric furniture (which she was never allowed on anyway). You're normally aware of a cat owners home because it stinks of cat piss, where the dirty little shits have been spraying everywhere. The claw marks on chair legs and furniture usually give it away as well.

    Cats do that to try and trip you up, hoping you'll break your neck so that they can claim on your life insurance policy. Devious little bastards!

    Dogs are better than cats. Man up and face fact, you poof.
     
  14. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    Dogs keep you fitter, too. Walkies and all that.
     
  15. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    As I said previously, the only people that can't smell dog in their house are dog owners. Very few landlords allow dogs in their properties, in fact a dog in the property is one of the few things where a landlord can legally insist upon a larger deposit than standard as the house will have to be fumigated and redecorated from top to bottom when the tenancy ends. And they will have to clear the poo up.

    My cat has never sprayed or clawed anything in the house. In fact none of the three we have owned have. Two of them have economics degrees and the third is a brain surgeon.

    Your hovel sounds really comfortable. Is it a cave??
     
  16. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Sounds like the cat has a medical issue - has he seen a vet?
     
  17. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member

    Yes .'cos the nasty little fuckers are shitting in everyone elses garden and the owners do not do a thing about it..
    To say they cannot is just a lie.. They do nothing about is because they take no responsibility unlike dog owners ( most any way )
    Cats are an absolute nightmare on camp sites.. Pissing up awnings, thieving food, killing anything small they know cannot defend them selves

    And as for rubbing them selves against your leg..Of course they do.. they are scrounging

    As for dog smells.. To an extent quite correct, but with due diligence not a problem.
    I worry that Dillon will stink the motorhome up... So care is taken to ensure it does not happen. Coat care is something that stops it
     
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  18. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Yeah, he had a cat scan but they needed a dog to do the Lab report.
     
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  19. slim63

    slim63 Never surrender Club Sponsor

    Responsible dog owners clear up after their animal, there are no responsible cat owners as proven by the lack of sand boxes in the idiot owners gardens

    And while our dog cant walk along a fence he can climb some trees much to the surprise of cats & squirrels :D
     
  20. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Er, this idiot owner has a cat litter in his garden.........

    :p
    Other than that, have you got anything against cats?
     
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