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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
My boss has just appointed me as his sexual adviser.
He said, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts.
When I asked to take 2, he said no.
I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
Make expensive branded bottled water last longer, by topping it up with tap water!!
When I was at school I was convinced my maths teacher fancied me .
She would put a kiss after every one of my sums
My friend has opened up an ice rink charging just 10p a go .
..... what a cheap skate !
Just dropped my phone in mayonnaise.
Bloody hellman!
A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos when someone shouted, ‘He’s behind you!’
I went for a self-defence class the other night. The instructor said, "I want you to take me by surprise and attack me."
So, when I saw him in Sainsbury's the next day, I threw a tin of beans at his head!
He said, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts.
When I asked to take 2, he said no.
I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
Make expensive branded bottled water last longer, by topping it up with tap water!!
When I was at school I was convinced my maths teacher fancied me .
She would put a kiss after every one of my sums
My friend has opened up an ice rink charging just 10p a go .
..... what a cheap skate !
Just dropped my phone in mayonnaise.
Bloody hellman!
A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos when someone shouted, ‘He’s behind you!’
I went for a self-defence class the other night. The instructor said, "I want you to take me by surprise and attack me."
So, when I saw him in Sainsbury's the next day, I threw a tin of beans at his head!
True story from my GP.
Young woman at doctors.
He gave her the little bottle and sent he to give a sample. He had his back turned when she came back in to the room.
He said "take off the top"
He turned around with the tester to dip the bottle - she had taken off her top and
bra.
I don't know what he said......
Young woman at doctors.
He gave her the little bottle and sent he to give a sample. He had his back turned when she came back in to the room.
He said "take off the top"
He turned around with the tester to dip the bottle - she had taken off her top and
bra.
I don't know what he said......
You need to expand reading material.
