There speaks the voice of experience.Gimp mask..It's rubber and washable.
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Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
An Englishman a Frenchman a ravashing blonde woman and a brunette are sharing a compartment on a Train travelling through the Swiss Alps. Every now and then the Train passes through a tunnel and each time the compartment is plunged into darkness. On one occasion a resounding smack is heard and as they emerge back into daylight the Frenchman is holding a rather red and painful looking cheek.
The brunette thinks "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert"
The blonde thinks " I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the brunette for me and she slapped the beast".
The Frenchman thinks " I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake"
The Englishman thinks "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again".
The brunette thinks "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert"
The blonde thinks " I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the brunette for me and she slapped the beast".
The Frenchman thinks " I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake"
The Englishman thinks "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again".
A lady dies and goes to heaven.
She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter.
There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him.
Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! "What was that?" she asks.
"Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter, "It's just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.
A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, this one even more terrible than the one before.
"What was that?!" she asked anxiously.
"Oh ,don't worry," says Saint Peter soothingly,
"It's just someone getting holes drilled in their back so they can be fitted for their wings."
The lady starts to back away. "Where are you going?" asks Saint Peter.
"I think I'll go downstairs, if it's all the same to you," says the lady.
"But you can't go there," says the saint, "You'll be raped and sodomized!"
"It's OK," says the lady, "I've already got the holes for that."
She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter.
There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him.
Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! "What was that?" she asks.
"Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter, "It's just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.
A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, this one even more terrible than the one before.
"What was that?!" she asked anxiously.
"Oh ,don't worry," says Saint Peter soothingly,
"It's just someone getting holes drilled in their back so they can be fitted for their wings."
The lady starts to back away. "Where are you going?" asks Saint Peter.
"I think I'll go downstairs, if it's all the same to you," says the lady.
"But you can't go there," says the saint, "You'll be raped and sodomized!"
"It's OK," says the lady, "I've already got the holes for that."
Why are Elephants so wrinkly?
Have you ever tried ironing one?
Have you ever tried ironing one?
Just booking into a hotel & a chandelier fell on me, luckily I escaped with light injuries.
I a local rugby club at a meeting somebody proposed that they should have a chandelier in the main room.
Some bright guy at the back asks
"But who are we going to get to play it"
Some other guy began to say "Well initially......"
He was cut across by another saying
"I don't care what they do in Italy...... "
Some bright guy at the back asks
"But who are we going to get to play it"
Some other guy began to say "Well initially......"
He was cut across by another saying
"I don't care what they do in Italy...... "
Also known as 'Beakering'.
What the f@@k exactly is that abomination supposed to be????????
