Playing pinball with cyclists

[Oldandbald]

Having removed your sun glasses in an aggressive manner it could be argued that it is you that stand as the accused. M'lud.

 

[Cougar377]

Having removed your sun glasses in an aggressive manner it could be argued that it is you that stand as the accused. M'lud.

I was impressed that they stayed on..!

I did briefly consider doing an Eric Morecambe, but the guy was frothing a bit so I decided against it.

 

[Oldandbald]

You showed great restraint. I'd have hopped in the ditch and finished the job. Not guilty.

 

[andyBeaker]

I'd estimate the distance to the bend in the track where I first observed the accused to have been about 100 yards from us.
His speed at that point was probably around 25mph.

Having observed the accused approaching we continued walking, secure in the knowledge that he had observed us and would slow down.
On glancing forward again it was now obvious that the accused had not slowed down at all and was intent on attempting to pass us on our right side.
There was no room to attempt this manoeuvre as the gravel track edge was no more than a foot from my shoulder. The edge beyond that was grassy slope leading into a drainage ditch.
At the point where I glanced forward again I would estimate that he was about 30 yards away. I looked to my right but realised there was nowhere for me to move to. To the left was my wife and to her left was one of the girls who could best be described as about 5' 10" and extremely overweight. Had I barged my wife out of the way in an attempt to avoid the cyclist then it is quite likely that the extremely large girl would have tripped over my wife and fallen on her. Please note that my wife is 5' 4" and about 9st.

After these startling admissions there will now be a recess to give you a much needed opportunity to consult with your lawyer.

For the sake of clarity this is a civil case against you, not a criminal case.


Yet.

 

[Cougar377]

After these startling admissions there will now be a recess to give you a much needed opportunity to consult with your lawyer.

For the sake of clarity this is a civil case against you, not a criminal case.


Yet.

Nope. Sue me Petrocelli.

 

[andyBeaker]

Nope. Sue me Petrocelli.

Sue me Petrocelli Is your lawyer presumably

 

[sr71caspar]

Having removed your sun glasses in an aggressive manner it could be argued that it is you that stand as the accused. M'lud.

Nope.

Cougar removed his sunglasses for fear that the irrational cyclist would attack him and smash them in his apoplectic rage and he, Cougar, would be permanantly blinded.

 

[Cougar377]

Sue me Petrocelli Is your lawyer presumably

Nope. You're Petrocelli. The one on a neverending DIY job.

 

[Oldandbald]

Nope.

Cougar removed his sunglasses for fear that the irrational cyclist would attack him and smash them in his apoplectic rage and he, Cougar, would be permanantly blinded.

Or alternatively he had to remove them to give his dodgy eyesight half a chance of locating the guys chin?

 

[Duck n Dive]

The civil case will have to await the outcome of the criminal case for assault against the cyclist....

Adding also
Breach of peace, furious cycling, aggravated racial behaviour etc, etc

Also I'm sure DEFRA/Natural England will have some charges from the various country and wildlife (protection) acts.

Maybe also Equity will want to get involved about acting as a twat without an equity card

 

[Cougar377]

The civil case will have to await the outcome of the criminal case for assault against the cyclist....

Adding also
Breach of peace, furious cycling, aggravated racial behaviour etc, etc

Also I'm sure DEFRA/Natural England will have some charges from the various country and wildlife (protection) acts.

Maybe also Equity will want to get involved about acting as a twat without an equity card

You missed "Wearing Lycra in a Public Place".

 

[sr71caspar]

The civil case will have to await the outcome of the criminal case for assault against the cyclist....

Adding also
Breach of peace, furious cycling, aggravated racial behaviour etc, etc

Also I'm sure DEFRA/Natural England will have some charges from the various country and wildlife (protection) acts.

Maybe also Equity will want to get involved about acting as a twat without an equity card

Do we know if there was any excessive use of a horn?

 

[Cougar377]

Do we know if there was any excessive use of a horn?

Does swearing like a trooper in front of 5 women and one mild mannered Jock qualify...?

 

[Cpt Breeze]

You missed "Wearing Lycra in a Public Place".

But surely we have to respect the Trans community

 

[Oldandbald]

You're on the wrong forum. Unless you meant Trans Am.

 

[Oldandbald]

Does swearing like a trooper in front of 5 women and one mild mannered Jock qualify...?

Sounds like perfectly normal behaviour to me. Got to go the voices are calling again.

 

[Cpt Breeze]

You're on the wrong forum. Unless you meant Trans Am.

Merely playing Devils advocate

 

[Oldandbald]

Merely playing Devils advocate

You don't want to be doing that on here. They will slice you up. They aren't all as cuddly as me.

 

[Cougar377]

But surely we have to respect the Trans community

I do not want to see anyone .... male, female, Eddie Izzard and everything in between.... heading toward me, dressed in lycra and doing a furious impression of Lynford Christie.

It's just not seemly.

 

[Oldandbald]

Seemly? You're spending too much time with Beaker aren't you?