Interesting Being 'offended'

[Jaws]

Whilst walking mutley I had a thought
All these ( generally millennial ) folk who say they are offended by this or that, 99% of the time they are not offended but merely disagree with what ever
Bit sad really as they do not seem to have the brain power to understand the difference

 

[derek kelly]

My take on it is if you’re offended, so what, it’s a big wide World & it is impossible to go through life without offending someone or being offended, we are individuals amongst billions so are we really significant?

 

[Centaur]

so are we really significant?

Some of us are, Derek.

 

[Minkey]

24 years ago a colleague made comments to me which he thought was having some banter, I found the comments then very offensive and they really upset me, and even now when I think about what he said it still upsets me.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, is the most incorrect saying ever, cruel words can have a lasting effect on people

 

[Malone]

So true

 

[derek kelly]

24 years ago a colleague made comments to me which he thought was having some banter, I found the comments then very offensive and they really upset me, and even now when I think about what he said it still upsets me.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, is the most incorrect saying ever, cruel words can have a lasting effect on people

Sorry for your hurt, truly, but when you think about it some people really are dick heads who speak without thinking, sometimes they think they are being funny sometimes they are malicious, just tell yourself that that person is nothing to you, their words have no importance & you are a far better person than they will ever be.

 

[andyBeaker]

Sorry for your hurt, truly, but when you think about it some people really are dick heads who speak without thinking, sometimes they think they are being funny sometimes they are malicious, just tell yourself that that person is nothing to you, their words have no importance & you are a far better person than they will ever be.

Perhaps not potentially a great career move but I once asked a much more senior person to stay behind after a meeting that we were in that involved a lot of other people as I wanted a word. To say they were lost for words when I ripped into him about making a derogatory and very personal comment about my appearance during the meeting would be an understatement. You are right, some people are just dickheads.

One of the very few things I learned in the workplace is that if someone is upset about something that may appear ‘inconsequential/WOKE/snowflake/whatever the current phrase freely used by those that know best is’ it is worth trying to find out why. The reasons are often surprising.

 

[Cougar377]

Whilst walking mutley I had a thought
All these ( generally millennial ) folk who say they are offended by this or that, 99% of the time they are not offended but merely disagree with what ever
Bit sad really as they do not seem to have the brain power to understand the difference

Being "offended" seems to be a default setting for some folk.
Unfortunately nowadays, due to the immediacy of social media, they can in a very short time bring to the attention of the whole world the subject of their "offence".
Similarly easily offended folk, often with no prior knowledge or understanding of the subject at hand, then trumpet their interpretation on social media to the point that the story achieves a level of mass hysteria that takes on a life of it's own.

As usual, the mass media then add to the problem by distorting the story and putting on whatever political spin suits them and their owners. This perpetuates and corrupts the story further as their version then gets fed into social media in an endless loop of speculation and distortion.

All of this furore can be achieved with total anonymity and no consequences, which boosts fragile egos, makes them feel powerful and emboldens them further.
For other keyboard warriors, who don't choose anonymity, they have the ability to achieve a level of near instantaneous "fame" and even notoriety which they could never attain otherwise.

I think that for many, this ability to create such an impact and to garner so much attention, with so little effort, is highly addictive. I'd even go as far as saying, for a certain mindset and age group, it's narcotic like in it's effects.

Thus a whole "industry" staffed by the excessively offended is born.

 

[andyBeaker]

Being "offended" seems to be a default setting for some folk.
Unfortunately nowadays, due to the immediacy of social media, they can in a very short time bring to the attention of the whole world the subject of their "offence".
Similarly easily offended folk, often with no prior knowledge or understanding of the subject at hand, then trumpet their interpretation on social media to the point that the story achieves a level of mass hysteria that takes on a life of it's own.

As usual, the mass media then add to the problem by distorting the story and putting on whatever political spin suits them and their owners. This perpetuates and corrupts the story further as their version then gets fed into social media in an endless loop of speculation and distortion.

All of this furore can be achieved with total anonymity and no consequences, which boosts fragile egos, makes them feel powerful and emboldens them further.
For other keyboard warriors, who don't choose anonymity, they have the ability to achieve a level of near instantaneous "fame" and even notoriety which they could never attain otherwise.

I think that for many, this ability to create such an impact and to garner so much attention, with so little effort, is highly addictive. I'd even go as far as saying, for a certain mindset and age group, it's narcotic like in it's effects.

Thus a whole "industry" staffed by the excessively offended is born.

That would never happen in here…..

 

[Duck n Dive]

Sorry for your hurt, truly, but when you think about it some people really are dick heads who speak without thinking, sometimes they think they are being funny sometimes they are malicious, just tell yourself that that person is nothing to you, their words have no importance & you are a far better person than they will ever be.

But don't people have a right to go through their day/life without a dick head making offensive comments to them?

 

[slim63]

I genuinely dont get it most of the time tbh, in my world if you offend me i am going to let you know and expect the same if i offend you, hiding from it or worse bitching about it to others only makes things worse

It doesn't matter to me what the situation, work or walking down the strret, get it out in the open there and then and move on, its much less stressful in the end

 

[derek kelly]

But don't people have a right to go through their day/life without a dick head making offensive comments to them?

Even dickheads are allowed freedom of speech.

My Mother in law once needed a lift to a Doctor’s in Dewsbury, I told her I would take her providing she had a bath or shower before hand, she went off on one calling me rude & thoughtless, I pointed out that if she wanted to wear the same clothes & sleep in them for days & nights on end that was her choice but I didn’t want the smell lingering in my car.
Trouble was the rest of the family were scared of upsetting her as she’s a complete narcissist.
Bev’s sister rang me telling me to apologise, I told her there was no way I’m apologising & if she wasn’t happy she could take her Mother, she soon started making pathetic excuses as to why she couldn’t when basically she didn’t want the smell in her car.
Body odour is the most offensive smell.

 

[Duck n Dive]

Even dickheads are allowed freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech doesn't confer the right to insult someone else.
That's not freedom of speech it's verbal bullying..

 

[Duck n Dive]

Where is the line between insulting/offending and "freedom of speech " ?

Does freedom of speech have to be factual?

Can opinion be freedom of speech?

 

[derek kelly]

As times change it’s becoming harder to define what is offensive, in the 70’s a guy was being interviewed on television regarding I believe about black immigration, the guy responded with “it’s only a few weeks ago they were swinging through the trees” he didn’t even think about whether or not his opinion was offensive.
My Father was laid on his hospital bed complaining of being bored, I told him to talk to the other three patients in his ward, he declared, “I can’t talk to them, they’re all yids”
A sandwich shop opened near a local School, a young Asian girl asked what halal sandwiches they had, the owner said “salad” the girl complained to the School, next thing the head teacher visited the Sandwich shop & told them that if they didn’t serve halal then he’d ban the School kids from using the shop, the owner was ok with this as most of the trade came from lorry drivers.

 

[Cougar377]

I genuinely dont get it most of the time tbh, in my world if you offend me i am going to let you know and expect the same if i offend you, hiding from it or worse bitching about it to others only makes things worse

It doesn't matter to me what the situation, work or walking down the strret, get it out in the open there and then and move on, its much less stressful in the end

I'm much like you, if someone pisses me off then I'll do the same, the problem with that in recent years is a new tactic. The counter claim.
This invariably takes the form of a false or exaggerated claim of counter offence, often said loudly to draw attention and usually something emotive and designed to draw attention and provoke a reaction from the "audience".
The whole point of this is to divert attention from the guilty person.

I experienced this tactic a few years ago while parked up waiting to collect the wife.
A woman and her kids arrived at the car next to me to get in. One of the kids banged my car with the passenger door while bundling a load of sports gear in their car.. The mother saw this, saw that I had seen it but said and did nothing.
It happened a couple more times so I wound the window down and asked her to stop it.
I got ignored. Then it happened again.
I got out, brought my phone out and was just about to move round to take pics of any damage when she asked me what I was doing.
I told her, at which point she started shouting "why are you taking pictures of my children.?".
That drew a crowd of other parents and she achieved her objective... which was to divert attention.

 

[andyBeaker]

I'm much like you, if someone pisses me off then I'll do the same, the problem with that in recent years is a new tactic. The counter claim.
This invariably takes the form of a false or exaggerated claim of counter offence, often said loudly to draw attention and usually something emotive and designed to draw attention and provoke a reaction from the "audience".
The whole point of this is to divert attention from the guilty person.

I experienced this tactic a few years ago while parked up waiting to collect the wife.
A woman and her kids arrived at the car next to me to get in. One of the kids banged my car with the passenger door while bundling a load of sports gear in their car.. The mother saw this, saw that I had seen it but said and did nothing.
It happened a couple more times so I wound the window down and asked her to stop it.
I got ignored. Then it happened again.
I got out, brought my phone out and was just about to move round to take pics of any damage when she asked me what I was doing.
I told her, at which point she started shouting "why are you taking pictures of my children.?".
That drew a crowd of other parents and she achieved her objective... which was to divert attention.

The classic tactic of a bully - when they are challenged they claim to be the victim.

As an aside, it struck me recently how many successful people were subject to merciless bullying at school - whether you like them or not Elon Musk and Victoria Beckham are prime examples.

 

[derek kelly]

The people who’s sensitivities are most protected are the most offensive.

 

[andyBeaker]

The people who’s sensitivities are most protected are the most offensive.

Sorry, don’t understand what you are saying?

 

[derek kelly]

Sorry, don’t understand what you are saying?

Self explanatory, we are not allowed to “offend” the freeloaders that are invading our small island to claim free money & Hospital care, it is ok for our veterans to sleep on the Streets but not our illegal visitors.