will i get rid of this chessey smile today??

[reefer]

yup tis true..

one cold damp dark morning...
on the way into work...i pull up at the lights on the inside lane, cars sitting in the lane next to me...theres a bus lane in front of me at the other side of the road, loaded with money making cams
i noticed out the corner of my eye what seems to be a honda bucket next to me..i know he knows i wanna go stright on..i avoid eye contact as i slide my finger over to the traction and stability smooth faced sexy switch..i push the butto gently so as not to attract onlookers...warning light come on like stadium lighting on the dash..im ready for him....
lights change..foot to floor..BUT NO hes next to me still at the other side of the lights..i hear hte turbo screem for joy as it catipults me into second gear ..BUT still hes there at the side of me..surely not i think to myself..this bucket honda keeeping up me moi
shes now gone into third and ive puleld in front just enough to pull out in front blocking his way and geting me out of the bus lane..we approach the next sight of lights which show RED i pull back over to the inside lane and we both stop at the lights..again with him next to me..i stay cool but notice his window dropping so i look round..still trying not to smile..its a middle aged typical jewish type looking business man..hes laughing his head off saying "i couldnt get traction" so i start laughing and reply " thats ok i was only tickling the throttle"
so were both sitting there laughing now..lights change..he tears off, i pull away normaly as im turning left..and what do i hear and see rasping from the exhaust then ferking new shape 3 series coupe M seires :} YES I SAID "M" BADGE!! ..he must have been laughing through sadness i rekon...what a way to start the day :-:

 

[D.S.]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

 

[Cyclops]

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

I can see your impressed DS

 

[richard]

Never underestimate ye ole Vulva me yellow one used to eat um for dinner then spit out the bones, C70 ain't as quick as the type R, but it certainly scares the shit out the fekers.. :yo: :bow: :yo:



R

Si does yours stop at 155 or does the switch take off the limiter as well m8..If not their is a mod out their to do it

 

[reefer]

That car could whup your sorry ass without getting into a sweat with grip

so clearly showing my lightning reactions and superiour driving skills then i guess :-:

DIRTY SANCHEZ :bow: :bow:

yeah right mr sanchez..if it was yours youd be booking ITV1 air time by now not to mention full page adds in the big papers( not the issue tho :f ) :neenaw:
:beer:

 

[Cyclops]

Reefer wrote

will i get rid of this chessey smile today??

Well you could always try selling it on E bay

 

[reefer]

Si does yours stop at 155 or does the switch take off the limiter as well m8..If not their is a mod out their to do it

dunno never took it past 150 :blush: being the carefull driver i am %$fan
its going into vovlo tuning in brum in the new year and will have an extra 50 horses under the scarab green pearl bonnet upon picking her up :bow: and an empty wallet :B
but of course still no match for lumpys car

 

[richard]

dunno never took it past 150 :blush: being the carefull driver i am %$fan
its going into vovlo tuning in brum in the new year and will have an extra 50 horses under the scarab green pearl bonnet upon picking her up :bow: and an empty wallet :B
but of course still no match for lumpys car

B4 u go anywhere try these guys who done the tune up on my typeR 380bhp easy...http://www.kalmar-union.com/ :yo: :yo:


R

 

[derek kelly]

Is a chessey smile like the one that bobby fisher used when he beat boris spasky?

 

[D.S.]

yeah right mr sanchez..if it was yours youd be booking ITV1 air time by now not to mention full page adds in the big papers( not the issue tho :f ) :neenaw:
:beer:

well of course I would................in fact I'd make sure it was "prime time" ITV and pay for full supplements in both the Guardian and Telegraph , after all, I can only but aspire to your volvo owning, M3 arse kicking, care-free, flamboyant, batchelor life style :bow: ..................I'm so envious :B
Oh well, back to the Big Issue sales :violin:

 

[Fat Bert]

Amazing how~~~

levels of disposable income rise when you don't have mortgage to pay

Paid mine off years ago so I guess I now actually own the house I live in?

So why do I still have to pay COUNCIL tax?

 

[RHINO]

levels of disposable income rise when you don't have mortgage to pay

Paid mine off years ago so I guess I now actually own the house I live in?

So why do I still have to pay COUNCIL tax?

You don't actually pay COUNCIL TAX 'fudgey', its now called COMMUNITY TAX i think :blush: .......
But out of what you pay they use some on emptying bins, sweeping the road, caring for the play grounds, policing etc.. The list goes on and in theory its good but it should be explained to people more so they know where the money is going.

The Volvo should be a good match for the Beemer on a 0-60 dash in the real world. 1st, the VULVA is automatic with traction control making for a computerised launch where as the BEEMER is manual and that is where skill is required.
2nd, Reefer had the edge because HE himself knew he was going to go for it, the Beemer may not have reacted until it was too late.

I whooped a 7 ton cattle truck in my 1.1 Fiesta last week :yo: but i had the upper hand as i didn't have 12 cows in the boot. :yo:

 

[Crozzers]

I whooped a 7 ton cattle truck in my 1.1 Fiesta last week



In who`s 1.1 fiesta???????????????????????

 

[RHINO]

I whooped a 7 ton cattle truck in my 1.1 Fiesta last week



In who`s 1.1 fiesta???????????????????????

Its YOURS my dear man8um

 

[Crozzers]

Its YOURS my dear man8um

Well, drive your feckin own then.
















And leave my poor little baby alone............... :violin:

 

[gypsy]

Reefer Vulva has his own patented traction control. I believe there is a lot of mass acting over the right side front wheel.

do you mean he's a Drama Queen?

 

[D.S.]

levels of disposable income rise when you don't have mortgage to pay

Paid mine off years ago so I guess I now actually own the house I live in?

So why do I still have to pay COUNCIL tax?

I know exactly how ya feel Bert.......I was happily enjoying mortageless life when I went and bought a house in Spain
Invest that disposable income wisely Bert..................otherwise you could find ya self in the same position as me (having to sell the Big Issue on the side :} )

 

[reefer]

2nd, Reefer had the edge because HE himself knew he was going to go for it, the Beemer may not have reacted until it was too late

well judging by the beemer rocking from side to side and the revving of the engine..i doubt he wasnt ready ..ok maybe slight twistying of the truth there BUT..he was not slow off the mark in anyway admitedly i did have one advantage :blush: i was on the grippy red bus route surface..but again its just down to pure skill :neenaw:

Reefer Vulva has his own patented traction control. I believe there is a lot of mass acting over the right side front wheel

clearly lumpy has had a peek under someones bonnet..how else would he know thats were the turbo is located :dunno:

 

[Jaws]

Sorry folks, but having the same level of interest in cars as I have in shampoo means I have no idea what a honda bucket is or what an m badge indicates..could you let me in on the deal please :blush: Sorryyyyy.....

 

[D.S.]

don't apologise John

Shampoo is more interesting IMHO :}