derek kelly said:
Birdie
believe it or not you and I are not so different, a part of my profession (A path that I chose to follow) is suicide prevention and anti bullying, also Drug councelling.
Maybe I am looking at it from a different perspective to you as the natural defenses of a Father of two girls springs to the fore. but believe me it has very little to do with my profession, and a lot to do with the realities of life
there are more Paedophiles roaming the streets than there are locked up in prison, Fact. 12 years ago there was an 80 year old Paedophile after my daughter who was only 13 at the time, and the police could not do anything about him.
BB has sought advice on this forum and I have given her advice that has stood my daughters in good stead, if she chooses to take on board that advice fine, if she doesn't that is also fine it is her life, she knows the guy better than I do and he may be genuine, but there is absolutely nothing wrong in being suspicious of a man of 34 being interested in a relationship with a 16 year old girl.
Hornblower, I am glad things worked out for you and Toots, and there are always exceptions to the rule. I don't know the figures but I am sure that statistically a situation like yours would end in tears more often than not.
Please don't think I am being arrogant or condescending as that is not my intention, but as I stated BB asked for advice and I have given advice that I would give to my own daughters.
good luck to both you and toots and hope you have many more years of happiness.
Derek
I now even more, feel I am correct, you have just answered most of my claim, your life is driven and guided by fear, so are most people's sadly.
Please reread your own posts from as neutral a perspective as possible, not just relating to this one post. I hope you will start to realise that we can guide, but we cant wrap everyone in cotton wool.
It may turn out for this girl that she has a relationship and it lasts for just 1 year. it may also be the greatest year of her life, who knows and if it fails who cares you pick yourself up and try again without holding back.
Life is for living and too short to live it in fear.
I must also say that I am trying to stay only in the sport arena, as working with depressed ( not necessary clinical depression) people gave me a depressed outlook. I truly believe even you and your collegues would get great benefit from counselling in a totally confidential manner.
I takes a bigger man to seek help than to block it all out. I am sure in your line of work you have seen and heard so much, (I cant think of a word to describe it,) that subconciously it goes into your head and blurs your opinions, counselling would be good to clean out the garbage.
The hard part is finding a good one.