You are 25 minutes from home, busting for a piss, every traffic light is red, you get a nice stretch of clear road until some moron pulls out in front of you & drives in the middle of the road at 20mph.
-
Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Motoring certainties
- Thread starter derek kelly
- Start date
Should have gone before you left 
My mum always told me thatShould have gone before you left
I was stood in the pouring rain watching Joe play Football, there were no toilets.Should have gone before you left
They used to do it down a rolled up newspaper into the pocket of the guy in front in the terraces years ago.
That’s why I stopped standing at the front of the terraces
I want to buy that driver a drink.
Are you condoning drinking and driving?
Yessssshhhhhhh.Are you condoning drinking and driving?
Well Derek obvious was doing that, hence the bulging bladder.....Are you condoning drinking and driving?
And the need to go for a wee increase the nearer you are to the toilet !!
100 meters …. Walk
50 meters …..walk quicker
25 meters and it’s a much faster walk
10 meters …. Almost run
5 meters and the dam is about to burst
Arrive at toilet ….. you don’t want to go now
100 meters …. Walk
50 meters …..walk quicker
25 meters and it’s a much faster walk
10 meters …. Almost run
5 meters and the dam is about to burst
Arrive at toilet ….. you don’t want to go now
No pissed up any more, only have occasional alcoholic drink with meals nowPissed up, pissed off and pissy pants. What’s not to like about growing old
ie breakfast, elevenses, brunch, lunch, afternoon tea, tea, dinner, supper……….
Great stuff. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink since December 8 (the first day I felt dreadful with covid) and haven’t missed it at all. Will be interesting to see if I fancy one during a forthcoming stay at a Warners location with friends.
To be honest other than my days in the Navy I’ve not been big on alcohol, I don’t even think it has anything to do with my Mother’s alcoholism.