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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
You'll like this Garden of England.
- Thread starter Pow-Lo
- Start date
No it isn’t
Not a flat cap, ferret or Jack Russell in sight. Yes, it is.
England shirt, beer belly and Staffy/Pitbull Cross..?
Just a liad of bland buildings & traffic jams.
No it isn’t
Every garden needs a shit pile
No, I didn’t go anywhere near Chatham.
Yep, that’s why Kent has Chatham. Yorkshire is England‘s shite pile.
Wind yer neck in. This is an exclusively British slag yer neighbouring county match.
As told by residents
How the resident described it: “Dartford is a hell hole populated by uneducated knuckle draggers.”
How the resident described it: “ If you are considering moving to Sittingbourne, take my friendly and concise advice, and avoid it like the plague which manifests itself here.”
“There is the nightly boy racer problem, driving around at speed, loud revving engines, causing them to backfire deliberately. No place to bring up decent children, as it is so dangerous.”
“It’s not unheard of to have somebody else’s rubbish fly tipped onto your drive, such is the community spirit.”
Dymchurch
Dymchurch Amusements (Image: Chris Whippet)
How the resident described it: “Dymchurch a.k.a Grimchurch”
“Awful Youths, Awful Schools, Rains 24/7 and when it doesn’t overrun with cockneys”
“As a youth having grown up in this geriatric landfill I can say to any young family looking to move here, simply, do not.”
Ashford
Ashford town centre (Image: Georgraph)
How the resident described it: “Ashford or Trashford?”
“Im hoping that the town will at least lose it’s moniker of “********* Town In Kent” before any of my offspring enter this world but hey, hell would probably freeze over first.”
"The town centre has always been littered with empty shops and the ones that are filled are either 99p shops, mobile phone shops, charity shops or discount shoe shops. Even Pizza Hut has fled the town centre.”
Herne Bay
Herne Bay High Street (Image: Google Maps)
How the resident described it: “The town may offer free spontaneous sparring sessions between the hours of 9pm and 4am weekends and at most venues weekdays before midnight.
“it is the one place you can be sure to bury your head, away from the successes of the rest of the world.”
“And if you say hello to someone at breakfast, you’ve assaulted them by dinner.”
Whitstable
There were similar scenes in Whitstable
How the resident described it : “With pubs and small pointless shops scattered all over the fish smelling, narrow high street; this town is a treat.”
“Why not come to Whitstable to get drunk, smell of fish, and nearly get in 5 fights because you farted? Great little town!”
“Getting some form of drug down here is easier than getting something to eat. Why is this you ask? Because most shops shut at around 9, and on a Sunday it’s pretty much medieval.”
Thanet
Ramsgate High Street (Image: Ian Scammell)
How the resident described it: “ Those who drive also have the chance to drive up to one of the many multi-storey car parks/McDonalds DriveThru/Matalan car park and blare out their stereos from either their own, or their mum's car.
“Ever since I can remember, the town centres have been plagued by ***** ‘loining’ in the high street”
“They appear to triple in numbers when it comes to market day – hoping to get some cheap Burberry or fake Gold – although they will tell everyone how it is real – they paid ‘bare dollarz for it, innit’.”
Maidstone
Maidstone High Street (Image: KentLive)
How the resident described it: “It has all the character of a pair of unisex, elasticated waisted, beige slacks whose only design mandate was to be as dull as they possibly could.”
“It takes the form of angry white men who have fallen out of one of the many wetherspoons (what town could possibly need THREE wetherspoons within one square mile) onto the streets, so bored with their lives that the only option is to fight other miserable white men.”
“Another great feature is the many young mothers swearing at their toddlers without an inch of embarrassment. In short, it’s an absolute sh*thole.”
Dover
Dover High Street
How the resident described it: “Open Drug dealing is normally expected in Dover. Crack and smack are easier to find than a good restaurant”
“Any nice places to walk or enjoy as we have in the past, are being [allegedly] taken away by English heritage.”
The Down From London (DFL) crowd are just as bad with solicitors letters about noisy sheep, chicken and cows. A fox being shot, got a police officer called out and now they’re making local history up to suit their ideas.
Sheerness
Sheerness High Street (Image: KentLive)
How the resident described it: “If you don’t have a car and you want to get out of the place back to the mainland, the majesty of one of the great train journeys of the world awaits.
“The air is now clean-ish and the only smell is that of McDonalds and desperation.”
“Sheerness is the end of the line… literally. The end of a small branch line from Sittingbourne to the Isle of Dirt.”
Canterbury
The Canterbury skyline (Image: Dave Goddard / Getty)
How the resident described it: "Long thought of as a picturesque tourist location, Yet if you were to take a trip to the town centre and look past all the historic buildings and occasional street performers and you would see the first signs of an infestation.
"Yes there is a McDonald’s, but there’s a McDonald’s nearly everywhere these days.
"There is also a pound shop, but there is a high student population in this city who must retreat to this shop to buy supplies from the meagre cash leftover from tuition fees and booze."
Gravesend
Gravesend town centre
What the resident said: “Gravesend, Otherwise known as the armpit of Kent.”
“No one can even walk about Gravesend town centre without getting threatened, spat at and so on…”
“I think Gravesend is one of the most **** filled, disgustingly stereotypical town you will EVER find.”
How the resident described it: “Dartford is a hell hole populated by uneducated knuckle draggers.”
How the resident described it: “ If you are considering moving to Sittingbourne, take my friendly and concise advice, and avoid it like the plague which manifests itself here.”
“There is the nightly boy racer problem, driving around at speed, loud revving engines, causing them to backfire deliberately. No place to bring up decent children, as it is so dangerous.”
“It’s not unheard of to have somebody else’s rubbish fly tipped onto your drive, such is the community spirit.”
Dymchurch
Dymchurch Amusements (Image: Chris Whippet)
How the resident described it: “Dymchurch a.k.a Grimchurch”
“Awful Youths, Awful Schools, Rains 24/7 and when it doesn’t overrun with cockneys”
“As a youth having grown up in this geriatric landfill I can say to any young family looking to move here, simply, do not.”
Ashford
Ashford town centre (Image: Georgraph)
How the resident described it: “Ashford or Trashford?”
“Im hoping that the town will at least lose it’s moniker of “********* Town In Kent” before any of my offspring enter this world but hey, hell would probably freeze over first.”
"The town centre has always been littered with empty shops and the ones that are filled are either 99p shops, mobile phone shops, charity shops or discount shoe shops. Even Pizza Hut has fled the town centre.”
Herne Bay
Herne Bay High Street (Image: Google Maps)
How the resident described it: “The town may offer free spontaneous sparring sessions between the hours of 9pm and 4am weekends and at most venues weekdays before midnight.
“it is the one place you can be sure to bury your head, away from the successes of the rest of the world.”
“And if you say hello to someone at breakfast, you’ve assaulted them by dinner.”
Whitstable
There were similar scenes in Whitstable
How the resident described it : “With pubs and small pointless shops scattered all over the fish smelling, narrow high street; this town is a treat.”
“Why not come to Whitstable to get drunk, smell of fish, and nearly get in 5 fights because you farted? Great little town!”
“Getting some form of drug down here is easier than getting something to eat. Why is this you ask? Because most shops shut at around 9, and on a Sunday it’s pretty much medieval.”
Thanet
Ramsgate High Street (Image: Ian Scammell)
How the resident described it: “ Those who drive also have the chance to drive up to one of the many multi-storey car parks/McDonalds DriveThru/Matalan car park and blare out their stereos from either their own, or their mum's car.
“Ever since I can remember, the town centres have been plagued by ***** ‘loining’ in the high street”
“They appear to triple in numbers when it comes to market day – hoping to get some cheap Burberry or fake Gold – although they will tell everyone how it is real – they paid ‘bare dollarz for it, innit’.”
Maidstone
Maidstone High Street (Image: KentLive)
How the resident described it: “It has all the character of a pair of unisex, elasticated waisted, beige slacks whose only design mandate was to be as dull as they possibly could.”
“It takes the form of angry white men who have fallen out of one of the many wetherspoons (what town could possibly need THREE wetherspoons within one square mile) onto the streets, so bored with their lives that the only option is to fight other miserable white men.”
“Another great feature is the many young mothers swearing at their toddlers without an inch of embarrassment. In short, it’s an absolute sh*thole.”
Dover
Dover High Street
How the resident described it: “Open Drug dealing is normally expected in Dover. Crack and smack are easier to find than a good restaurant”
“Any nice places to walk or enjoy as we have in the past, are being [allegedly] taken away by English heritage.”
The Down From London (DFL) crowd are just as bad with solicitors letters about noisy sheep, chicken and cows. A fox being shot, got a police officer called out and now they’re making local history up to suit their ideas.
Sheerness
Sheerness High Street (Image: KentLive)
How the resident described it: “If you don’t have a car and you want to get out of the place back to the mainland, the majesty of one of the great train journeys of the world awaits.
“The air is now clean-ish and the only smell is that of McDonalds and desperation.”
“Sheerness is the end of the line… literally. The end of a small branch line from Sittingbourne to the Isle of Dirt.”
Canterbury
The Canterbury skyline (Image: Dave Goddard / Getty)
How the resident described it: "Long thought of as a picturesque tourist location, Yet if you were to take a trip to the town centre and look past all the historic buildings and occasional street performers and you would see the first signs of an infestation.
"Yes there is a McDonald’s, but there’s a McDonald’s nearly everywhere these days.
"There is also a pound shop, but there is a high student population in this city who must retreat to this shop to buy supplies from the meagre cash leftover from tuition fees and booze."
Gravesend
Gravesend town centre
What the resident said: “Gravesend, Otherwise known as the armpit of Kent.”
“No one can even walk about Gravesend town centre without getting threatened, spat at and so on…”
“I think Gravesend is one of the most **** filled, disgustingly stereotypical town you will EVER find.”
And yer slagging me for talking rubbish
Good point. You do top the leaderboard there......I'll give you that.And yer slagging me for talking rubbish
In a similar vein; Yorkshire is shite all over so no point going into,detail.
ps,whitstable,is actually very nice. There is a reason is smells of fish which is quite obvious really...except to a Yorkshire being Thing.
Prostitutes
The prostitutes down here smell of lavender, spice and all things nice.
That’s what you meant (deny it & we’ll start asking how you know what they smell like)
You should go find out what the female ones smell like.