F for fail

[Squag1]

Spotted In Yorkshire | Can someone please tell me which company fitted this door I’m in desperate need | Facebook

Can someone please tell me which company fitted this door I’m in desperate need https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLHF9X2f/ follow us on TIKTok to get a chance for a £250 gift card

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Hope it works

 

[Malone]

He’s not home!


Leave the parcel in the dustbin


of course he’s now only 17 miles away south of the border running like Usain Bolt

 

[Cougar377]

FFS, just issue them with breaching charges.

It has the added advantage of leaving the smug twat hiding behind the door laid out and ready to cuff.

 

[Malone]

and why didn’t plod consider the window next to the door?

 

[Cougar377]

and why didn’t plod consider the window next to the door?

If you enter through a window then you leave yourself vulnerable to attack while you're climbing through.

 

[derek kelly]

If you enter through a window then you leave yourself vulnerable to attack while you're climbing through.

Not if you throw stun grenades through first.

 

[Cougar377]

Not if you throw stun grenades through first.

Can't use stun grenades as they will permanently damage the hearing of any little kids in the room.
Not to mention, you might frighten the dog.

 

[derek kelly]

Can't use stun grenades as they will permanently damage the hearing of any little kids in the room.
Not to mention, you might frighten the dog.

The kids will be wearing headphones playing call of duty, the dogs are probably already beyond retraining.

 

[Squag1]

Previous one I saw, mode of entry was chainsaw. Went through door like a hot knife through butter.

 

[slim63]

A mate got raided by accident as coppers couldn't read door numbers (3 doors down was the target address)

His was a old house on a ex coal board estate the front door was on the left and the coal house door on the right with another door behind that into the kitchen

So the heavy crew battered the hell out of the front door for 5 mins and got it open an inch or two, it wasn't going any further as there was a tall heavy chest of drawers thing wedged between it and the bottom of the stairs simply because it was to big to turn into any room at the top of the narrow staircase

My mate who was drinking tea in the kitchen before work when it all kicked off around 6 am stuck his head out of the coal hole door and said loudly "MORNING OFFICERS, THIS ONE IS OPEN" resulting in some brown trousers and a damn near heart attack from the wpc stood nearest to him none had seen him stick his head out due to being focused on the immovable front door

The best thing is the coal house door which he always used didn't even have a lock and the internal door behind would open with a light shove ...... result for him though as he got a nice new front door and frame that didn't leak and wasn't draughty + the fitter stuck a decent lock in the coal hole door while he was there


Re the police chainsaws for doors ...... I have heard dodgy folk are buying up old chainsaw trousers and stuffing them inside their plastic door panels, apparently they stop a chainsaw dead giving the crims chance to do whatever it is they have to do

 

[Cougar377]

A mate got raided by accident as coppers couldn't read door numbers (3 doors down was the target address)

His was a old house on a ex coal board estate the front door was on the left and the coal house door on the right with another door behind that into the kitchen

So the heavy crew battered the hell out of the front door for 5 mins and got it open an inch or two, it wasn't going any further as there was a tall heavy chest of drawers thing wedged between it and the bottom of the stairs simply because it was to big to turn into any room at the top of the narrow staircase

My mate who was drinking tea in the kitchen before work when it all kicked off around 6 am stuck his head out of the coal hole door and said loudly "MORNING OFFICERS, THIS ONE IS OPEN" resulting in some brown trousers and a damn near heart attack from the wpc stood nearest to him none had seen him stick his head out due to being focused on the immovable front door

The best thing is the coal house door which he always used didn't even have a lock and the internal door behind would open with a light shove ...... result for him though as he got a nice new front door and frame that didn't leak and wasn't draughty + the fitter stuck a decent lock in the coal hole door while he was there


Re the police chainsaws for doors ...... I have heard dodgy folk are buying up old chainsaw trousers and stuffing them inside their plastic door panels, apparently they stop a chainsaw dead giving the crims chance to do whatever it is they have to do

When I used to do the arb and forestry trade shows I used to see those chainsaw trousers being demo'd all the time. Never could persuade the reps to do the demo with them on.

 

[ogr1]

When I used to do the arb and forestry trade shows I used to see those chainsaw trousers being demo'd all the time. Never could persuade the reps to do the demo with them on.

I can testify that they do actually work.
I just wish that mine had full ballistic lining when I lost the fight with a two foot blade.

 

[Cougar377]

I can testify that they do actually work.
I just wish that mine had full ballistic lining when I lost the fight with a two foot blade.

Explains why they call you stumpy.

 

[ogr1]

Explains why they call you stumpy.

I had the 'half lining' summer pants on at the time, blade dug in and turned the pant leg around, then it bit me again.
Made a nice V shape in my left thigh.
Nicked the deep femoral artery and blood
was pissing out. Lucky I didn't bleed out.
All my own fault, not being observant.

 

[Squag1]

Like all these situations, it only takes a second of loss of concentration to end up in disaster.

Farmer on tv lost his leg because the cord on his trousers got caught on shaft on tractor. Just cut through his leg somehow.

 

[Cougar377]

I had the 'half lining' summer pants on at the time, blade dug in and turned the pant leg around, then it bit me again.
Made a nice V shape in my left thigh.
Nicked the deep femoral artery and blood
was pissing out. Lucky I didn't bleed out.
All my own fault, not being observant.

I've heard some gory tales from the Arb customers I used to train and support. I think one of the worst was a lad who suffered kickback while up a tree. The saw bit into his neck and he was left hanging in the tree. His oppo got him down but he bled to death there and then.

Daft sod was using the saw onehanded.

 

[ogr1]

Like all these situations, it only takes a second of loss of concentration to end up in disaster.

Farmer on tv lost his leg because the cord on his trousers got caught on shaft on tractor. Just cut through his leg somehow.

The farming community probably has
the worst accident rate of any other profession.

 

[ogr1]

I've heard some gory tales from the Arb customers I used to train and support. I think one of the worst was a lad who suffered kickback while up a tree. The saw bit into his neck and he was left hanging in the tree. His oppo got him down but he bled to death there and then.

Daft sod was using the saw onehanded.

Kickback is feckin horrible, you don't get
any warning.The cut off safety bar as you
probably know is designed just for that reason as it is activated by slamming against your wrist, but not designed for single handed operation.
Some situations need one handed operation due to angles and manoeuvre when stuck up a 60ft tree.

 

[Cougar377]

Kickback is feckin horrible, you don't get
any warning.The cut off safety bar as you
probably know is designed just for that reason as it is activated by slamming against your wrist, but not designed for single handed operation.
Some situations need one handed operation due to angles and manoeuvre when stuck up a 60ft tree.

If I remember rightly he had his other hand on the branch he was cutting to prevent it springing back at him.

 

[Malone]

The farming community probably has
the worst accident rate of any other profession.

Highest suicide rate too I believe.