Wolfie
Is a lunp
A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most
embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:
4th Place.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from the
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right
now, she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I
saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.'
After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I
heard as the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.
3rd Place.
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard
the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I
give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to
miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the
bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of
people yelled 'SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents, the relo's as well
as my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on
the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise
parties.
2nd Place.
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got
up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
supersize".
Then it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks'. A guy, his voice
booming over the same public address system: "Do you want the kind you
push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in with a hammer?"
1st Place
And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University during a biology lecture
a professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A
young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly,
you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some statistical
data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why
doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor
girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had
inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word,
walked out of the class. As she was heading for the door, the
professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste
sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue
and not in the back of your throat."
embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:
4th Place.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from the
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right
now, she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I
saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.'
After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I
heard as the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.
3rd Place.
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard
the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I
give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to
miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the
bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of
people yelled 'SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents, the relo's as well
as my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on
the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise
parties.
2nd Place.
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got
up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
supersize".
Then it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks'. A guy, his voice
booming over the same public address system: "Do you want the kind you
push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in with a hammer?"
1st Place
And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University during a biology lecture
a professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A
young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly,
you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some statistical
data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why
doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor
girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had
inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word,
walked out of the class. As she was heading for the door, the
professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste
sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue
and not in the back of your throat."