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Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by derek kelly, Jul 31, 2020.

  1. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Sat in the garden, next door neighbours (David & Kate) are having a barbecue with another couple.
    I heard David ask the male guest “would you like another beer?”
    Guest, “Aye, al av n estrella, ooh David, does tha naw, a wer in t’lidl t’other day n a got 24.. no not 24, 18 Corona fer twelve quid”
    Kate, “I like San Miguel”
    Male guest, “ooh, a got 24 San Miguel, no not San Miguel, Lidl’s owan brand, fer a tenner”
    Kate, “I’m going to make a cuppa, anybody want one?”
    Male guest, “150 Tetley, non er yer shite cheap brands, proppa Tetley wun cups fer a fiver, we luv Lidl”
    Dave, “we use that new Aldi for convenience”
    Male guest, “tha’d not catch me in thair Dave, s’German tha noes“
    Dave “so’s Lidl”
    Male guest, nay Dave, tha’s rong, Lidl’s Dutch, thay elped us in t’war”
    Knowing Dave & Kate I think it will be a long time before they invite these guests again.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    So.... the male guest was pissed before his first beer?:risas3:
     
  3. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    You mean they don't talk like that when they're sober....? o_O
     
  4. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    They jolly well do.
     
  5. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    I say, Wupert. What Ho, old chap..!
     
  6. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    Wodger dodger, home James and don't spare the horses.
     
  7. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    We came inside but left the patio doors open, the guest got louder & louder talking shite.
    “Ay Dave, tha noes mi caravan? Well, wi wer off ta (I think he said) Sudbury wi it two week ago, wi set it up n t’awning wa broken, (I nearly started singing a Cat stevens song) only adit ten month anall.
    Dave, “Did you take it back?”
    Guest, “nah, it wer second and when we gorrit, it’s a 99 model, not bad fer 21 year old though, bog’s bust but wi new that when wi bowt it, nokd undred quid off”
    Dave, “have you looked on ebay for a new one? You can get a Thetford for about fifty quid”
    Guest, “al not pay buv thirty fer wun”
     
  8. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    and with that, he stuck his arse ow't ta kitchen window and took a giant shat on his rose bushes.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    I'm assuming Dave is English. Feck knows what faraway land the Guest is from, but his enunciation needs a bit of work. That and a smack across the back of the head.
     
  10. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    He’s what I call a professional South Yorkshireman, like Sean Bean, they have to speak loudly & exaggerate their accent
     
  11. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    Your first spice customer.:D
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Sorry, I was referring to the guest, Dave is a local lad but he’s got a proper job & speaks normal Yorkshire.
     
  13. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

  14. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Sin Bin is from Yorkshire...??? :eek:
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  15. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    AY N BLUDDY PRARD ARRIT, by all accounts
     
    • Informative Informative x 1

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