Bowel cancer screening

[derek kelly]

Got my pack yesterday morning so before I went to bed I prepared the kit in my bathroom as around 2.30 every morning without fail I wake up wanting a crap, without fail?? Not today, no sir, today I woke up at 2.30 & only managed a slash, next woke up at 7.30 so I got up, had my usual Tassimo coffee & a nice brekky thinking “anytime now I’ll go & be able to post the cack kit and all will be well with the World” eventually managed to go at five past four this evening, what’s the betting, tomorrow will be back to normal?

 

[johnboy]

02:30 for a dump seems extremely inconvenient .

 

[jeffa]

I am regular as well, I go at 7am every day. Problem is I dont wake up till 7.15

 

[derek kelly]

02:30 for a dump seems extremely inconvenient .

Would be if I didn’t wake up first.

 

[Quiney]

Got my pack yesterday morning so before I went to bed I prepared the kit in my bathroom as around 2.30 every morning without fail I wake up wanting a crap, without fail?? Not today, no sir, today I woke up at 2.30 & only managed a slash, next woke up at 7.30 so I got up, had my usual Tassimo coffee & a nice brekky thinking “anytime now I’ll go & be able to post the cack kit and all will be well with the World” eventually managed to go at five past four this evening, what’s the betting, tomorrow will be back to normal?

Hope so, because you need three samples

 

[derek kelly]

Hope so, because you need three samples

Not any more, just the one sample.

 

[Cougar377]

Not any more, just the one sample.

Get it from the cat litter tray. That'll give them something to think about.....

 

[Pow-Lo]

I shit like a racehorse me, but then I’m full of it.

 

[Quiney]

Not any more, just the one sample.

Thanks, few years since I last did one.

 

[derek kelly]

Thanks, few years since I last did one.

Should be every two years when you get to sixty

 

[Cougar377]

Should be every two years when you get to sixty

I tend to go daily. It backs up something terrible otherwise.....

 

[Toast]

02:30 for a dump seems extremely inconvenient .

At least there shouldn't be a queue for the loo at that time...

 

[derek kelly]

At least there shouldn't be a queue for the loo at that time...

There’s just Bev & me live here, three bathrooms, never a problem with queueing except when Grandkids are stopping over.

 

[andyBeaker]

At least there shouldn't be a queue for the loo at that time...

No, everyone will be at the dentist.

(Might take a bit of thinking about that one)

 

[Jaws]

I shit like a racehorse me, but then I’m full of it.

What, standing in a field ?

Thanks, few years since I last did one.

Try exlax mate.. two years between craps is a LONG time !

Should be every two years when you get to sixty

Have to have a yearly MOT and it has never been mentioned .. They are proly relying on bloods

 

[Pow-Lo]

What, standing in a field ?

No, all over the Queen’s Highway

 

[derek kelly]

What, standing in a field ?



Try exlax mate.. two years between craps is a LONG time !



Have to have a yearly MOT and it has never been mentioned .. They are proly relying on bloods

Not all GP’s have signed up to the bowel cancer screening programme.

 

[Jaws]

Not all GP’s have signed up to the bowel cancer screening programme.

Aint seen a GP in years,,, he is worse that useless
And it was him who told me I would be in a wheel chair soon due to osteoarthritis and I had severe asthma and three years ago that the hernia was nothing to worry about
If he cannot find it on google he is buggered

 

[derek kelly]

it was him who told me I would be in a wheel chair soon due to osteoarthritis

1993 Bev’s immune system started attacking her body, destroyed her thyroid gland & caused pain in her legs, she was referred to see Mr Robson-Parsons the top neurosurgeon at Jimmys, she had eight inch of muscle taken from her leg for biopses, when she went back for the results Mr Robson-Parsons was blunt, he told her she would be in a wheelchair within 18 months & dead within 5 years.
Glad to say even the top bods get it wrong sometimes.

 

[Pow-Lo]

There’s just Bev & me live here, three bathrooms, never a problem with queueing except when Grandkids are stopping over.

We have four cackpots between two of us. I went through a phase of blocking them back in the summer, so I used the one on the top floor as I figured the highest would be the most difficult to block. Wrong.

At about the same time, our office manager had to call a plumber out because I dropped an enormous dead otter down the cackpot on the top floor in our office. I tried valiantly for about twenty minutes to flush the bastard away, but no luck. The following weekend, I blocked one of the bogs at my mum’s house, too. The first one came out like shaking an eel out of a welly boot but the rest was variously like a flock of sparrows taking off and a load of old boots falling out the attic. I must’ve been on the throne for half an hour with a near endless supply pouring out. Took me another half hour with the flush, plunger and bog brush but I thankfully managed to clear that one.

Dunno what the hell was wrong with me but after the episode at me mum’s, I’d make a point of flushing halfway through my session until my arse had settled down.