Best Chat Up Lines

[Fat Bert]

This could be a giggle

My favourite is "You don't sweat much for a fat lass do you" - worked for me in the past!!

Your favourites?

 

[ianrobbo1]

Suppose we should really start this as it looks like Robbo needs some assistance!

My favourite is "You don't sweat much for a fat lass do you"

Your favourites?

someone I live with has just put "someones" name on her "hit" list,
me thinks maybe you should be absent from Matlock if you wish to see the saturday after :}
and yes she has "got the hump" with you Dave!!! :t

 

[Zoffo]

It's the replies to chat up lines that tickle me.


HIM...How do you like your eggs in the morning
HER...Unfertilised now fook off.

 

[Artemis]

It's the replies to chat up lines that tickle me.


HIM...How do you like your eggs in the morning
HER...Unfertilised now fook off.

My favourite response ever was when some prat said to me "where have you been all my life?" to which I replied " well the first half of it I wasn't born".

and no, the prat wasn't Hunter!

 

[ianrobbo1]

no use you trying to shut the stable door m8, your horse has buggered off BIG time, :}
do you want flowers or shall we send the money to a charity rather than wreaths,??? :}

 

[stan the man]

ME.. any chance of a b**w job?

HER...no

ME..s'pose a f**k's outa the question :dunno: %$fan


keys..........sarnies.............gone R#?

 

[Fat Bert]

Don't tell lies Stanley~~~

Just found your chat up line.....speakers on!!

http://www.bikersoracle.com/jaws/bert/stan.wav

 

[stan the man]

Just found your chat up line.....speakers on!!

http://www.bikersoracle.com/jaws/bert/stan.wav

your always pickin' on me....bastid.go and pick on someone your own size......














cue....






















frodo baggins

 

[Fat Bert]

And..........

Stan's reply to Blu?


http://www.bikersoracle.com/jaws/bert/bendova.wav

 

[Allan1]

Him "Fancy a Fook?"

Her "No"

Him "Well mind lying down while I have one?"


Buzz

 

[Punchy]

I like Kevin 'Bloody' Wilsons song about the subject

"Do you fook on first dates
Does your dad own a brewery
Can I feal yer tits or will you show em to me....

My face will be leaving in quarter of an hour
I'd like you to be on it....

I didnt know until recently Kevin Wilson was a speedway rider and used his 'talent' to earn extra cash.

g0551p

 

[Kenzie]

assuming there dad is not acutally a theif...

Him: Is your dad a theif?

Her: NO, why?

Him: oh, because he stole the stars and put them into your eyes!!!

Works all the time...

 

[Bubba]

As a squaddie many years ago, I found "Wanna go halves on a bastid" worked most of the time

 

[Crozzers]

Ive heard some really pathetic ones but i think the few that stick in my mind are.....

1. Who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes? uke:

2. I really like your dress, it would look great on my bedroom floor...

3. Do you come here often? ( the classic)

4. I know you from somewhere, but i cant think where....(yeah right!)

5. God, dont you look like Britney/Christina/etc......(errrrrrm.....no!)

6. Excuse me, my mate really fancies you...........(go away!)

The list goes on and on and on and on....................

 

[Stevebrooke]

He: Is that a ladder in your stocking or the stairway to heaven?

She: It's a ladder, I've got the painters in. uke:

 

[stan the man]

Stan's reply to Blu?


http://www.bikersoracle.com/jaws/bert/bendova.wav

that's your's ya fudge packer :f don't try to pass the buck :t ya know it won't work......'cause we all know you to well,so

 

[Zoffo]

As long as I have a face you'll always have somewhere to sit

 

[DB on CBR1100XX]

On the classic brushoff theme..........

Him: You've got nice legs, Love.........

Her: Well they're not for wrapping round your back, so ferk off !!

 

[Scalesy]

There's only one Austin Powers!

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)
Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight

Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

(Look down at your crotch) Well It's just not going to suck itself is it?

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???


Now there is a LADIES man! :bow:

 

[Artemis]

You'll like this one Stan & Blu,

Welsh lorry driver in truckstop to waitress " Have you got any Welsh in you, love?"
Waitress "No"
Welsh lorry driver "Would you like some?"