• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

April Fools Day

Cougar377

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
Not seen any particularly good ones yet, but then I remembered that today is the day that the Socialist Nasty Party's Thought Crime Law kicks in up here.

Chortle feckin' chortle.

I'd like to think that those inept cretins in Edinburgh have suddenly developed a wicked sense of humour and this is just a massive wind up.... but then I remember that this is the political party that put Jimmy Krankie in charge of the country for 9 years and then when she jumped, replaced her with possibly the most incompetent politician in British politics today (the fact that his utter ineptitude qualifies him to stand head and shoulders above every other politician in the country tells you why he has the nickname "Yousless" ).

So either I start being nice to all you hairy arsed fuckwits from now on.... or I'll be doing some serious porridge.

Oh what joy it is to be back in Scotland.
 
Last edited:
derek kelly

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
I messaged Gracie this morning & told her there was severe flooding in Ingleton & their campsite was closed, next thing, phone call from Emma, “where’ve you seen that? There’s nothing on their website about it”
APRIL FOOL.
 
andyBeaker

andyBeaker

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
There was a cracker down here on Facebook…the scrap metal merchant in newhaven posted that he was looking to erect the second ‘i360’ (as in the huge viewing platform in Brighton) that he has in his yard in his massive scrap site next to the docks ‘providing great views of the scrap yard and garbage incinerator’, complete with very good artist impression. Some fell for it.
 
Martin L Batley

Martin L Batley

Been there, and had one
Club Sponsor
I like the one from Germany where they say due to a law from 1898"Foreign Nationals (football) Act" players can only play for countries they reside in. Therefore Harry Kane is banned from playing for England but can play for Germany if he wants. Who says the Germans have no sense of humour.
 
Pow-Lo

Pow-Lo

Make civil the mind, make savage the body.
Club Sponsor
Cougar377 said:
Not seen any particularly good ones yet, but then I remembered that today is the day that the Socialist Nasty Party's Thought Crime Law kicks in up here.

Chortle feckin' chortle.

I'd like to think that those inept cretins in Edinburgh have suddenly developed a wicked sense of humour and this is just a massive wind up.... but then I remember that this is the political party that put Jimmy Krankie in charge of the country for 9 years and then when she jumped, replaced her with possibly the most incompetent politician in British politics today (the fact that his utter ineptitude qualifies him to stand head and shoulders above every other politician in the country tells you why he has the nickname "Yousless" ).

So either I start being nice to all you hairy arsed fuckwits from now on.... or I'll be doing some serious porridge.

Oh what joy it is to be back in Scotland.
Click to expand...
I think that twat Comrade Mark Dripford would give him a run for his money, and so would his dickhead successor Born ‘sexy fingers’ Guessing.
 
Cougar377

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
Squag1 said:
irishcycle.com

Ireland’s Road Safety Authority to adopt new “Be seen, grab a brick!” campaign -- IrishCycle.com

Ireland’s Road Safety Authority is to adopt the new “Be seen, grab a brick!” campaign to promote pedestrian safety at crossings and other locations where motorists might not see b…
irishcycle.com irishcycle.com
Click to expand...
In years to come archeologists will be able to date this precisely to the end of the first quarter of the 21st century by the presence of the completely unnecessary disclaimer.
 
Cougar377

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
In the two days since the Law came in the majority of complaints have been about a speech old Yousless made a while back about him being the only non white member of the SNP's hierarchy.

You couldn't make it up. :risas3:
 
Martin L Batley

Martin L Batley

Been there, and had one
Club Sponsor
What gets me is that the SNPs whole marketing ploy is a racist attack on the English so they should all be doing 7yrs
 
Cougar377

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
Martin L Batley said:
What gets me is that the SNPs whole marketing ploy is a racist attack on the English so they should all be doing 7yrs
Click to expand...
They loath us here in the Highlands and Islands almost as much as they loath the English.

I think we should do what Orkney and Shetland are trying to do..... bring Viking rule back.
 
derek kelly

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Alas, I knew him well, stupid Shakespeare, if Yorick was a he why’d he call him a lass?
 
Duck n Dive

Duck n Dive

Rebel without a clue ...
Club Sponsor
Although from Oz, in the aviation world this was an excellent one I thought :


Civil Aviation Act 2015
Amendment 1 April 2024
Tabling of Directions or notices of the Minister

69:123, (1) No pilot, or pilots or person or persons acting on the direction or suggestion or supervision of the pilot or pilots, may try, or attempt to try, or make, or attempt to make, or attempt to try to comprehend or understand any or all, in whole or in part, of the herein mentioned Civil Aviation Act.2015, Civil Aviation Regulations, Civil Aviation Safety Regulations, or Civil Aviation Orders, except as authorised by the Minister or a person authorised by or inspected by the Minister.

(2) If the pilot or group of associated pilots becomes aware or realises, or detects, or discovers, or finds that he, or she, or they, are, or have been beginning to understand the Civil Aviation Act 2015. Civil Aviation Regulations, Civil Aviation Safety Regulations, or Civil Aviation Orders, They must immediately, within three (3) days, notify the Minister in Writing.

(3) Upon receipt of the above mentioned notice of impending comprehension, the Minister will immediately re-write the Civil Aviation Act 2015, The Civil Aviation Regulations, Civil Aviation Safety Regulations, or the Civil Aviation Orders in such a manner as to eliminate any further comprehension hazards.

(4)The Minister may at his or her opinion, require the offending pilot, or pilots, to attend remedial instruction in the Civil Aviation Act 2015. The Civil Aviation Regulations, Civil Aviation Safety Regulations, or the Civil Aviation Orders until such time that the pilot or pilots, are too confused to be capable of understanding anything
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top