A new menace on the roads

[Pow-Lo]

Previously, we've always known that the biggest dangers to motorcyclists were the following:

1. Volvo drivers;
2. Pensioners;
3. Women drivers; and,
4. Cars with 'Baby on Board' stickers in the windows.

In recent times, it's become apparent that Nissan Micras are out to get us and the only thing worse than a BMW driver is an Audi driver. I guess I can't overlook the East European steak and kidney lock-openers in their sub-standard, left hand drive, shit mobiles either.

During my on-going reintegration into UK society, I've noticed a new menace on our roads, namely the Nissan Qashqai. I've had four run-ins on UK roads so far whilst in my car and every time it's been with a f'ing Qashqai. Stupid car, stupid name, driven by myopic wankers.

 

[Minkey]

You forgot
4x4 drivers
Male drivers

 

[Squag1]

BMW drivers

 

[andyBeaker]

S'funny, car drivers regard motorbikelists as the biggest menace on the road.

Closely followed by anything with a horse in it.

 

[andyBeaker]

Should I be concerned that I very much like the Audi A7 - if I were to get shot of the total superb beemer then that would be very high on a very short list alongside another beemer.

I also used to drive a Volvo. Superb machine.

A friend has a cash cow or whatever they are called - for a pointless vehicle i.e. Road use 4x4 it isn't too bad. Other than the fact it has a diesel in it which by definition just makes it poo.

 

[Cougar377]

Previously, we've always known that the biggest dangers to motorcyclists were the following:

1. Volvo drivers;
2. Pensioners;
3. Women drivers; and,
4. Cars with 'Baby on Board' stickers in the windows.

In recent times, it's become apparent that Nissan Micras are out to get us and the only thing worse than a BMW driver is an Audi driver. I guess I can't overlook the East European steak and kidney lock-openers in their sub-standard, left hand drive, shit mobiles either.

During my on-going reintegration into UK society, I've noticed a new menace on our roads, namely the Nissan Qashqai. I've had four run-ins on UK roads so far whilst in my car and every time it's been with a f'ing Qashqai. Stupid car, stupid name, driven by myopic wankers.

5. Anyone glancing down while driving.
6. Anyone wearing a hat while driving.
7. Teenagers in small hatchbacks.
8. Teenagers driving cars with those blackbox thingies (you can spot them a mile off - two days to get to the speed limit and braking miles before a junction).
9. Range Rovers or the Audi/BMW equivalent.
10. Old men driving jag saloons.
11. Nissan Notes (a variation on the Micra driver).
12. Taxis.
13. Battered MPV's.
14. ANYONE dropping off/picking up kids from school - especially if it's an SUV/4x4 but PARTICULARLY if it's a Range Rover Evoque driven by a woman wearing more makeup than an Avon catalogue.
15. Women pushing prams while glued to their mobile phone.
16. Anyone (but especially students near a college/uni) with headphones/earbuds on/in.
17. DPD/Amazon/Post Office/etc. vans.

 

[andyBeaker]

5. Anyone glancing down while driving.
6. Anyone wearing a hat while driving.
7. Teenagers in small hatchbacks.
8. Teenagers driving cars with those blackbox thingies (you can spot them a mile off - two days to get to the speed limit and braking miles before a junction).
9. Range Rovers or the Audi/BMW equivalent.
10. Old men driving jag saloons.
11. Nissan Notes (a variation on the Micra driver).
12. Taxis.
13. Battered MPV's.
14. ANYONE dropping off/picking up kids from school - especially if it's an SUV/4x4 but PARTICULARLY if it's a Range Rover Evoque driven by a woman wearing more makeup than an Avon catalogue.
15. Women pushing prams while glued to their mobile phone.
16. Anyone (but especially students near a college/uni) with headphones/earbuds on/in.
17. DPD/Amazon/Post Office/etc. vans.

It might be easier if you list people that aren't a danger!!

Anyway, you forgot mobility scooters, both on the road and pavement.

And quad bikes.

 

[Cougar377]

It might be easier if you list people that aren't a danger!!

Anyway, you forgot mobility scooters, both on the road and pavement.

And quad bikes.

We don't see many mobility scooters on the road around here. It might have something to do with some old twat getting squished by a bus.

I can't remember the last time I saw a quad on the road around here. They seem to have died a death.....

 

[johnboy]

Don't get me started on caravans....


Ah, I'm home. Surrounded by fellow middle aged grumpy feckers, bliss.

 

[vbird]

you forgot Nissan Juke, no really, every single one is driven like a tw@t, trust me, keep your eyes peeled it really is a jungle out there.

 

[derek kelly]

CYCLISTS

 

[Pow-Lo]

you forgot Nissan Juke, no really, every single one is driven like a tw@t, trust me, keep your eyes peeled it really is a jungle out there.

Hmmmm, I see a pattern here. Maybe Nissan is the new Volvo.

 

[Jaws]

a new menace on our roads, namely the Nissan Qashqai. I've had four run-ins on UK roads so far whilst in my car and every time it's been with a f'ing Qashqai. Stupid car, stupid name, driven by myopic wankers.

Funny you should say that... I thought it was just me, but in the last 7 days I have been cut up several times, been stuck behind a couple of them, one had simply stopped in the middle of the road( while woman answered the fone... very comendable but not slap the the middle, blocking the road ) and one that the driver just decided that 20 mph on the A11 was fast enough

 

[DLN1965]

My WIFE !!

 

[Minkey]

horse boxes

 

[derek kelly]

horse boxes

Driven by people who have no idea how to drive large vehicles.

 

[noobie]

Drivers who have a problem with the colour red. For some reason more people have tried to knock me off whilst on red bikes than any other colour

 

[slim63]

Anything with a tartan blanket and/or a straw hat on the rear shelf

+ 100 on the Nissan cumquat, usually driven by a woman with too many other things to be doing rather than watching where they are fecking going the worst I saw was one mount the pavement at a set of notorious traffic lights round here, luckily it was the other side of the road from where I was waiting to cross & there was nobody waiting that side, the reason (I kid you not) the woman driver was making a sandwich while driving

 

[Pow-Lo]

Anything with a tartan blanket and/or a straw hat on the rear shelf

+ 100 on the Nissan cumquat, usually driven by a woman with too many other things to be doing rather than watching where they are fecking going the worst I saw was one mount the pavement at a set of notorious traffic lights round here, luckily it was the other side of the road from where I was waiting to cross & there was nobody waiting that side, the reason (I kid you not) the woman driver was making a sandwich while driving

Did she have big tits?

 

[slim63]

Did she have big tits?

Big everything mate hence trying to stuff her fat face while driving