• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

a mothers dictionary!!

ianrobbo1

good looking AND modest
a Mothers dictionary
a direct theft from another forum!! it amused me so man8um
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AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to
make love again.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the
strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it
and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman
pyjamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...
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