Yer can't read this till yerve 'ad the stitches out... :-0)
...So DIG IN and get better...@tu*
50th anniversary of the Great Train Robbery last week. To commemorate it, I boarded a train at Kings Cross and paid ?4.95 for a cup of tea.
My son got his A Level results. Great News! I don?t have to shell out for college tuition fees....the thick twaŧ failed the lot.
Tottenham will be facing Dinamo Tblisi in the Europa league. In case you haven?t heard of them, they?re a football club from North London.
So I?ve designed a pack of playing cards. Deal with it!
As an orchestra conductor I know more musicians than you could shake a stick at.
I was going to call the Apathy Helpline today but then I thought ?What?s the bloody point??
I really shouldn?t have driven home from the pub last night. Especially considering I walked there.
?Two spring rolls plus two spring rolls equals five spring rolls? ? Dim sum.
?What?s on your mind??
?Where are you??
?Who are you with??
When the fưck did Facebook turn into my girlfriend?
Want a tune suitable for getting down and dirty with a highbrow lady? Nothing works better than Beethoven?s Filth Symphony.
Nudism:- Been there, done that. I don?t seem to have a T-shirt though.
My dad lost his penis when he became infected with ġonorrhoea. (My mum found out and cut it off).
Well, I?ve finally been to Poundland. WORST THEME PARK EVER.
Who?s got Gaviscon? I had the pumpkin soup at the Fairy Godmother?s do last night & at midnight it turned into a fưcking coach & horses.
I recently lost my sex drive. Or to put it more accurately, those idiots at PC World recently lost my sex drive.
My wife is so annoying....?Do you think I?m pretty? Do you think I?m pretty??
Why doesn?t she just answer me?
I spent ?96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein. It was the grater of two evils.
The big bad wolf finally got the 3rd little pig by alerting the council to his lack of a brick-house planning application.
Moral: Don?t fưck with wolves.
My wife caught me pleasuring myself in front of a picture of her mother. The spoilsport made me put the darts away.
Most people think vegetarians love animals, when actually they just fưcking hate plants.
GWS fella ..!! :-0)