F
fatboystew5
Guest
Subject: FW: Hell - this is clever
>
> The following is supposedly an actual question given in a university
> chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the
> professor
> shared it with colleagues.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs
> heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
> One
> student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need
> to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
> they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
> to
> Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
> souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist
> in
> the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a
> member
> of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
> these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
> we
> can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
> are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
> Law
> states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
> same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
> Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Gibbons
> during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
> sleep
> with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
> night,
> then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
> has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
> has
> frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
> therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
> a
> divine being - which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
> God!"
>
> This student received the only "A"
>
> The following is supposedly an actual question given in a university
> chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the
> professor
> shared it with colleagues.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs
> heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
> One
> student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need
> to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
> they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
> to
> Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
> souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist
> in
> the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a
> member
> of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
> these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
> we
> can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
> are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
> Law
> states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
> same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
> Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Gibbons
> during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
> sleep
> with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
> night,
> then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
> has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
> has
> frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
> therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
> a
> divine being - which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
> God!"
>
> This student received the only "A"
