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Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
Mary had a little lamb
She’s now serving five years for beastiality.
She’s now serving five years for beastiality.
One my Mother used to say.
Mary had a little lamb
It’s fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
It’s sooty foot it put.
Mary had a little lamb
It’s fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
It’s sooty foot it put.
An 18th-century vagabond in England, cold, wet, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn called 'George and the Dragon'.
It was night, raining hard, and blowing a fierce gale.
He knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out of an upstairs window.
"What the HELL do you want at this time of night?" She screamed.
"Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes.
"No! bugger off!" she shouted.
Could I just have a pint of ale, or a quick bite to eat then?" He pleaded.
"No! On yer way" she shouted. “
"Could then, I at least sleep in your stable this inclement night?"
"No! Get the hell away with you" she shouted again.
The vagabond wearily began, "Might I please ........... ?"
"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.
"D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a quick word with George?"
It was night, raining hard, and blowing a fierce gale.
He knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out of an upstairs window.
"What the HELL do you want at this time of night?" She screamed.
"Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes.
"No! bugger off!" she shouted.
Could I just have a pint of ale, or a quick bite to eat then?" He pleaded.
"No! On yer way" she shouted. “
"Could then, I at least sleep in your stable this inclement night?"
"No! Get the hell away with you" she shouted again.
The vagabond wearily began, "Might I please ........... ?"
"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.
"D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a quick word with George?"
Jack & Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jill’s fanny
He got such a shock
With a mouth full of cock
Cos Jill’s a pre op tranny.
So Jack could lick Jill’s fanny
He got such a shock
With a mouth full of cock
Cos Jill’s a pre op tranny.
That is brilliant.
I was walking down the road late last night as I approached a cemetary three young girls asked if I would escort them past it as they were frightened, I said “sure, I used to be terrified of cemetaries when I was alive” never seen anyone move so fast.
Quiney
Registered User
During my check-up I asked the Doctor,
"Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?
He replied, "I doubt it somehow.
Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
"Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?
He replied, "I doubt it somehow.
Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
Yesterday I sat watching the Manchester United game on telly, suddenly the wife came home so I quickly switched to the porn channel & pulled my pants down to save embarrassment.
