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credit cards.....................

stan the man

you are not capable
>
>

> Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:
> a.. Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
> b.. Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
> c.. Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to
> collections."
> d.. Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
> e.. Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
> f.. Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds
> division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
> g.. Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
> h.. Bank: "Excuse me?"
> i.. Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
> j.. Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
> Supervisor gets on the phone:
> a.. Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
> b.. Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
> c.. Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
> d.. Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
> e.. Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
> f.. Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
> g.. Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
> After they get the fax:
> a.. Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
> b.. Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If
> not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
> c.. Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still
> apply."
> d.. Family Member: "Would you like her new billing
> address?"
> e. Bank: "That might help."
> f.. Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
> g.. Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
> h.. Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
>
>
>
 
C

CAD

Guest
Love it!

Outstanding Stan. Here's one back again.

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power...................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
 
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stan the man

you are not capable
that was posted on here a few weeks back i think...apparently the operator person got the sack as the call was recorded :dunno:

still very funny though :lol:
 
C

CAD

Guest
Oh Bugger!!

Really must get on here more often :bang: . Laughed my socks off when I read it though.
 

stan the man

you are not capable
stan the man said:
that was posted on here a few weeks back i think...apparently the operator person got the sack as the call was recorded :dunno:

still very funny though :lol:

sorry cad...it wasn't on here i saw it mate...it was one of my karate instructors that told me it... :bow:
 
C

CAD

Guest
Karate mate. What style, what grade. Got my 1st Dan in Shotokan but too many injuries put paid to my time a couple of years ago. Shame.
 
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