at last something funny for the SheepShagger!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Scott says to Stan behind him,
> "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
> "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.
> "There's a diagnostic computer down at Woolworth's.
> Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's
> wrong and what to do about it.
> It takes ten seconds and costs ?20.00 ...a lot quicker than a doctor."
So Scott deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Woolies.
>
> He deposits $20.00, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
> sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,
> the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
> activity. It will improve in two weeks.
> Thank you for shopping @ Woolies."
>
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
> Scott began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
> He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
> from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
>
> Scott hurries back to Woolies, eager to check the results.
> He deposits $20.00, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results..........
> The computer prints the following:
"1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> 4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer (1st floor).
> 5. If you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.
> Thank you for shopping @ Woolies."
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Scott says to Stan behind him,
> "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
> "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.
> "There's a diagnostic computer down at Woolworth's.
> Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's
> wrong and what to do about it.
> It takes ten seconds and costs ?20.00 ...a lot quicker than a doctor."
So Scott deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Woolies.
>
> He deposits $20.00, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
> sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,
> the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
> activity. It will improve in two weeks.
> Thank you for shopping @ Woolies."
>
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
> Scott began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
> He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
> from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
>
> Scott hurries back to Woolies, eager to check the results.
> He deposits $20.00, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results..........
> The computer prints the following:
"1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> 4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer (1st floor).
> 5. If you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.
> Thank you for shopping @ Woolies."
