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What would you do?

johnboy

rather fond of a cream bun
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A very delicate situation has just been revealed to me, a mate who is very local to me has been to magistrates court and has a date for crown court on charges of unlawful sex with a minor, 15 apparently. I have not broached the subject as I'm not sure if I want to get involved with it. I think we are the last in the village to find out. I am concerned that if he has done wrong we might be ostracized by association, this is a very small village. We currently have some of his livestock on our land and someone has already made comments to us. Should I drop him like a stone or stick by him, we aint close BFF's but he has always been good to us and helped me out of the crap a couple of times. I'm inclined to wait for the courts decision.
 

Cougar377

Express elevator to hell
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Despite the society we live in I still think the rule of law is "innocent until proven guilty", so that would be my retort to anyone who brings it up and I'd wait for the court case (although that might be a while yet).
It might be a case of stupid but not deliberate, as a lot of 15 year olds these days could easily pass for an 18 - 25 year old from our younger days. I suspect regardless of the outcome he'll be persona non grata in the village after the court case and the battle lines will be drawn accordingly. You'll probably need to decide then.

This happened to a mate of mine when I was in the RAF. He got off with a local village girl at a camp disco. He then gave her the flick after a couple of weeks and she reported him to the Snowdrops (RAF Police) for porking an underaged girl. It turned out she was 14, although she could have easily passed for 18+.

He did a few weeks in Colchester (military prison) but stayed in. Most of us were of the opinion "there but for the grace of God go I".
 

andyBeaker

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A very delicate situation has just been revealed to me, a mate who is very local to me has been to magistrates court and has a date for crown court on charges of unlawful sex with a minor, 15 apparently. I have not broached the subject as I'm not sure if I want to get involved with it. I think we are the last in the village to find out. I am concerned that if he has done wrong we might be ostracized by association, this is a very small village. We currently have some of his livestock on our land and someone has already made comments to us. Should I drop him like a stone or stick by him, we aint close BFF's but he has always been good to us and helped me out of the crap a couple of times. I'm inclined to wait for the courts decision.
Innocent until proved guilty.

Sadly pack mentality tends to set in around stuff like this.

Not easy but for what it’s worth I think you are right in what you say. Try and maintain neutrality and a low profile.
 

andyBeaker

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Despite the society we live in I still think the rule of law is "innocent until proven guilty", so that would be my retort to anyone who brings it up and I'd wait for the court case (although that might be a while yet).
It might be a case of stupid but not deliberate, as a lot of 15 year olds these days could easily pass for an 18 - 25 year old from our younger days. I suspect regardless of the outcome he'll be persona non grata in the village after the court case and the battle lines will be drawn accordingly. You'll probably need to decide then.

This happened to a mate of mine when I was in the RAF. He got off with a local village girl at a camp disco. He then gave her the flick after a couple of weeks and she reported him to the Snowdrops (RAF Police) for porking an underaged girl. It turned out she was 14, although she could have easily passed for 18+.

He did a few weeks in Colchester (military prison) but stayed in. Most of us were of the opinion "there but for the grace of God go I".
It’s a fair point but I don’t think the law makes any distinction; under age is under age regardless of circumstances.
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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A colleague told me of when he was at Wandsworth, a guy in on remand for having sex with a 14 year old girl he’d picked up in a nightclub, he swore that the girl looked about twenty, when it went to Court the girl turned up in her school uniform, the Judge ordered her to attend as she was dressed on the night, the guy was acquitted.
 

andyBeaker

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A colleague told me of when he was at Wandsworth, a guy in on remand for having sex with a 14 year old girl he’d picked up in a nightclub, he swore that the girl looked about twenty, when it went to Court the girl turned up in her school uniform, the Judge ordered her to attend as she was dressed on the night, the guy was acquitted.
I don’t disbelieve that’s what you were told but past that it sounds like complete total 100% garbage.
 
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derek kelly

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I don’t disbelieve that’s what you were told but past that it sounds like complete total 100% garbage.
You are calling my good friend & colleague (one of a few ex colleagues I'm still in contact with) a liar?
Have you ever sat through a Court case of this type?
If you picked up a girl in a nightclub would you think she was 14?
 

andyBeaker

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You are calling my good friend & colleague (one of a few ex colleagues I'm still in contact with) a liar?
Have you ever sat through a Court case of this type?
If you picked up a girl in a nightclub would you think she was 14?



Do you really believe a judge would behave like that?
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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A very delicate situation has just been revealed to me, a mate who is very local to me has been to magistrates court and has a date for crown court on charges of unlawful sex with a minor, 15 apparently. I have not broached the subject as I'm not sure if I want to get involved with it. I think we are the last in the village to find out. I am concerned that if he has done wrong we might be ostracized by association, this is a very small village. We currently have some of his livestock on our land and someone has already made comments to us. Should I drop him like a stone or stick by him, we aint close BFF's but he has always been good to us and helped me out of the crap a couple of times. I'm inclined to wait for the courts decision.
We bought a smallholding from a friend in 1993, there was an 87 year old guy called “Joe Naylor” who had a pigeon loft on one of the paddocks, we allowed him to stay rent free, the day after my youngest daughter’s 13th birthday Bev said “come on Emma, let’s go feed the horses, Emma refused, a couple of days passed & Emma seemed to have lost all interest, we eventually coaxed it out of her, Joe Naylor had tried to molest her, Bev & I both ran round to his house but he wasn’t in, we called the Police but as he’d not physically touched her their hands were tied, he had the audacity to come walking up my drive to his pigeon loft, I went out & told him in no uncertain terms to keep off my property, his son laughed & said “you can’t chuck him off he’s a tenant, I saw a solicitor & had to give him three Months notice, this was galling as we’d never taken a penny in rent from him, we had three Months of hell, people blocking our drive, spitting at us as we drove out of our drive, trying to harm our cats etc
A short while after we were in a local pub when one of his friends who had been one of the worst for the abuse approached & asked if we’d be in on Sunday, I asked him why & he said he wanted to speak to us, when he turned up he was nearly crying as he apologised, it turned out that Joe Naylor had watched as parents left a house for work & he let himself in & tried to molest the 15 year old daughter, the arsehole died before he went to prison
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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Do you really believe a judge would behave like that?
As I’ve asked, have you ever attended trials of this kind? Judges are not stupid, they often give the impression that they are asleep but they don’t miss a thing.
Tell me how do you think Judges act in Court?
 

Nige F

Been there, and had one
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We had a similar situation near to us a few weeks ago.... Our neighbour died in suspicious circumstances and her husband was arrested..... He was later released pending investigation.

We speak to him but keep it very brief.... Like this we are not fully aware of the circumstances so until the full facts, are known why should we not speak to him.....
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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We had a similar situation near to us a few weeks ago.... Our neighbour died in suspicious circumstances and her husband was arrested..... He was later released pending investigation.

We speak to him but keep it very brief.... Like this we are not fully aware of the circumstances so until the full facts, are known why should we not speak to him.....
Was he arrested or just questioned?
 

slim63

Never surrender
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A very delicate situation has just been revealed to me, a mate who is very local to me has been to magistrates court and has a date for crown court on charges of unlawful sex with a minor, 15 apparently. I have not broached the subject as I'm not sure if I want to get involved with it. I think we are the last in the village to find out. I am concerned that if he has done wrong we might be ostracized by association, this is a very small village. We currently have some of his livestock on our land and someone has already made comments to us. Should I drop him like a stone or stick by him, we aint close BFF's but he has always been good to us and helped me out of the crap a couple of times. I'm inclined to wait for the courts decision.
Age of supposed offender?
I ask as this is relevant to the opinion would give !
 

Pow-Lo

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Do you really believe a judge would behave like that?
Why not? I've stood before a couple of smart judges and it wouldn't surprise me.

I almost pulled a 14 year old girl in night-club when I was 17. I asked her if I we could go out the following weekend and she said she was grounded after this weekend as she was supposed to be studying for her exams. I ran a f'ing mile!
 
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Pow-Lo

I am Grasshopper!
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A very delicate situation has just been revealed to me, a mate who is very local to me has been to magistrates court and has a date for crown court on charges of unlawful sex with a minor, 15 apparently. I have not broached the subject as I'm not sure if I want to get involved with it. I think we are the last in the village to find out. I am concerned that if he has done wrong we might be ostracized by association, this is a very small village. We currently have some of his livestock on our land and someone has already made comments to us. Should I drop him like a stone or stick by him, we aint close BFF's but he has always been good to us and helped me out of the crap a couple of times. I'm inclined to wait for the courts decision.
Innocent until proven guilty.

If it were me, I'd be as normal as possible with him (i.e. exactly as I'd behaved prior to his alleged offence) and wait for legal process to complete before behaving any different. As has been said above, if any villagers knock your door with burning torches, tell them 'innocent until proven guilty', especially as he's been good to you in the past.

There was a story in the press about 100 years ago where this young lad had been accused of rape by a female student. He had a cast iron alibi and CCTV footage showed he was miles away from the where the girl claimed she was at the material time. Use went back to court where she was on trial for lying. On giving evidence, the boy said that his life continued to be a nightmare as he was often abused, spat at and assaulted in the street even though he'd been found innocent beyond all doubt. The judge sent the girl down for three months. The point is, shit sticks even though an innocent verdict can be passed.

Another thing to consider - how much of a difference would it make to your lives if you were ostracised by the locals (especially if your mate was cleared of any criminal charges)?
 

Jaws

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Mate of mine got done for it..Girl was 15 but he met her in a nightclub and looked more like 25 !
Everyone just ignored it........ ( think he got a £100 fine and that was it
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
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My eldest daughter’s best friend at school was a girl called Lyndsey Waterworth, she is a Month older than Sarah but even without makeup etc she looked early twenties, we held Sarah’s thirteenth birthday party in the Prison club, a colleague started to chat Lyndsey up, I told him Lyndsey’s age & he nearly shat himself, luckily Lyndsey wasn’t promiscuous.
 

johnboy

rather fond of a cream bun
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Innocent until proven guilty.

If it were me, I'd be as normal as possible with him (i.e. exactly as I'd behaved prior to his alleged offence) and wait for legal process to complete before behaving any different. As has been said above, if any villagers knock your door with burning torches, tell them 'innocent until proven guilty', especially as he's been good to you in the past.

There was a story in the press about 100 years ago where this young lad had been accused of rape by a female student. He had a cast iron alibi and CCTV footage showed he was miles away from the where the girl claimed she was at the material time. Use went back to court where she was on trial for lying. On giving evidence, the boy said that his life continued to be a nightmare as he was often abused, spat at and assaulted in the street even though he'd been found innocent beyond all doubt. The judge sent the girl down for three months. The point is, shit sticks even though an innocent verdict can be passed.

Another thing to consider - how much of a difference would it make to your lives if you were ostracised by the locals (especially if your mate was cleared of any criminal charges)?
Been round to his place this morning and done a job for him, he still has not said anything about it so I'm keeping schtum also.
We generally keep ourselves to ourselves, we are on very good terms with all the neighbours ( all 8 households) and it would really upset me if they turned as he has done loads for all of them too, he's the sort of bloke that will help anyone out.
You are right in what you say, mud sticks, I don't believe the press should be allowed to report anything from any court until found guilty as innocent people are marked for life.
 
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