• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

You'll like this Those dreaded school reports

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
Those of a certain age will know of those teachers who really knew you.

To get it started......................

John is more than capable of reaching high standards but gets bored and distracted easily

That is about the only one I remember :)
When father questioned me about it, I said I would not get bored if the teachers taught less boring subjects
Did not go down well !

But to this day I still have not found a use for anything taught in geography ( my tutor ALWAYS concentrated on India and points east ), R.E. English Lit or P.E.
Subjects like physics, maths, chemistry, metal work, wood work and English language I had no problem with.
Even as a callow youth I could see such things were likely to be useful

Ohh.. Just remembered another one !!!

John seems to have a very real problem accepting authority

Yup... sounds about right even to this day !!
 

slim63

Never surrender
Club Sponsor
Tony questions everything and has problems accepting some answers without further investigation

Tony's standard of maths is appalling and is unlikely to improve

Both from Mr Hobson deputy head and my high school form tutor who didn't much like being being proven wrong on a number of occasions or bring beaten at badminton or being told to get the hell off my shooting ground until he had the landowners permission (i was 14 at the time)

Tony can not or will not learn in the way we like to teach, despite this he somehow always seems to be in the top 5 during tests .... from my history teacher (made me laugh as we were covering world wars 1 and 2 at the time a passion of mine from a very young age, so I probably knew more than he did)

"DISRUPTIVE" ! from a French teacher :D I asked this one quite innocently what use would French be after I left school, she came up with some condescending bullshine explanation which got my back up with the result I let he know that without the English and Americans they would all be speaking German by now :meparto:as she was French I got a 2 week suspension just before exams (all of which I still passed much to their annoyance)
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
A friend & I were messing about in maths, teacher (Miss Towns) made us stay behind, she proceeded to tell us off then she came out with a line I’ll never forget, “you are a couple of nig nogs” we looked at each other & fell about in fits of laughter
 

andyBeaker

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
My main recollection of the truly awful ‘secondary modern’ I went to was being punched in the head by the geography teacher who lost it - a case of mistaken identity, one of my school mates made a comment behind his back and I was in the firing line. Looking back now it is hard to believe that the teacher wasn’t even suspended, let alone sacked.

Other than that it was the run of the mill ‘could do better’, ‘if he worked as hard academically as he does at sports he would do well’ stuff. With the school‘s ‘help and encouragement’ I left with one ‘O’ level, about par for the course for the school, without their help I got an ‘A’ level and a degree studying evenings/weekends while working full time over the next seven years. Thanks for everything, Glastonbury Secondary Modern, you got the best out of me.

The contrast to the grammar school my son went to was astonishing - they were really encouraging and wanted the pupils to do well, a fantastic learning environment.
 

Lee337

Confused Poster
Club Sponsor
Will never amount to anything...

From the teacher told me I was a waste of space & would never find a job, while he could 'walk out of this job in to another within 24 hours. Three years later he was unemployed, while I was managing a pub.

Inability to concentrate, I'm afraid Science is not his subject...

My book sheles were full of science text books at home, which I read avidly. What they taught at school was so far below my knowledge, I'd have needed a parachute to get safely down to that level (and could possibly have even explained the aerodynamics too).

Lives in a dreamworld, I fear for this young man's future...

From my drama/creative writing teacher - I thought that was the point!
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Not a School report but a very harsh put down, I was playing Football for my School in a cup final, we were told that scouts ŵould be there from Leeds, Huddersfield & Bradford, they were looking at our goalkeeper, “Billy punton” after the game I spotted the Leeds coach & approached him I asked “excuse me but do I have a chance?” He asked “where did you play son?” I replied “right wing in the first half then I was substituted” he looked at me & said “sorry son, not as long as you’ve a hole in your arse”
 

Pow-Lo

Make civil the mind, make savage the body.
Club Sponsor
One of mine said I’d probably do a lot better if I wore blinkers.
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
The biggest disappointment was from my French teacher (Mr Gent) I believed that I was useless at the language so when it came to O levels I opted out, he came to me (when it was too late) & asked why, I told him I wasn’t good enough, he told me I was the best in the School.
 

Centaur

Site Pedant
Club Sponsor
I hated school from the first day I went there. Every report said..... "Not even trying; could do so much better". I finally grew up when I went in the RAF at fifteen.
 

andyBeaker

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
I was quite a promising young footballer (along with countless others) and played Isthmian League (about ‘7th division equivalent) at aged 16, established first team at 17. The manager/coach told me one day ‘you have the pace and all the skill in the world, but you will never think fast enough to make it’. That’s all it took to destroy my confidence. He went on to be a long term manager of a professional club with a fabulous reputation for developing young players, some went on to play for England. I went backwards before packing up serious football at about 20.

If nothing else when I was older and wiser that memory stuck in my mind and I like to think I was able to get the best out of young players that I was coaching, even if they weren’t very good.
 

Squag1

Can't remember....
Club Sponsor
I hated school from the first day I went there. Every report said..... "Not even trying; could do so much better". I finally grew up when I went in the RAF at fifteen.
My granddaughter started 2nd level this year. She is a totally different person.
She was bored and lacked challenge in primary school. Brilliant at art.
Seems to be a good school.
 

Squag1

Can't remember....
Club Sponsor
We only got minimal comment on report back then.
I have a few from 2nd year.

Much more expected
Giddy

I was too young really.

Unpunctual.
I was in boarding school, no local 2ndary.
Don't know how I was unpunctual. You went to next thing when bell rang.

Two things stand out .

Smoking - there was a line of toilet cubicles in the yard each of which opened to the air - primitive. There was a light on a pole at the end. We used to cram into end cubicles to smoke cigarette, usually sourced through day-boys.

In the dark evenings you could see the clouds of smoke ascending. We had one new teacher who tried to stop it, unsuccessfully.

The break out.

We got into All-Ireland college's final to be played on Croke Park Dublin. The president of the school decided that we couldn't go. The seniors collected money from allocated groups for the train tickets. The 1st year's were excluded. They were instructed to play around the yard which was overlooked by the teacher's rooms.

We had a talk every Sunday at 10 am and when the bell rang we all ran across the back field and up to the railway station. The seniors bought the tickets and while we got on the train.

It seemed to take forever to leave. It stopped at on station and we thought that we were going to be put out.

We won the match but when we got back we were met at the gate by the president.
Usually some people from the town would come in to the college to celebrate but he turned them away.

I had to hide my bottle of lemonade and the packet of chocolate biscuits under my coat going in.

It was a diocesan school so he was called up to the Bishop to explain. We never heard anything more about it.
 

ogr1

I can still see ya.....
Club Sponsor
We only got minimal comment on report back then.
I have a few from 2nd year.

Much more expected
Giddy

I was too young really.

Unpunctual.
I was in boarding school, no local 2ndary.
Don't know how I was unpunctual. You went to next thing when bell rang.

Two things stand out .

Smoking - there was a line of toilet cubicles in the yard each of which opened to the air - primitive. There was a light on a pole at the end. We used to cram into end cubicles to smoke cigarette, usually sourced through day-boys.

In the dark evenings you could see the clouds of smoke ascending. We had one new teacher who tried to stop it, unsuccessfully.

The break out.

We got into All-Ireland college's final to be played on Croke Park Dublin. The president of the school decided that we couldn't go. The seniors collected money from allocated groups for the train tickets. The 1st year's were excluded. They were instructed to play around the yard which was overlooked by the teacher's rooms.

We had a talk every Sunday at 10 am and when the bell rang we all ran across the back field and up to the railway station. The seniors bought the tickets and while we got on the train.

It seemed to take forever to leave. It stopped at on station and we thought that we were going to be put out.

We won the match but when we got back we were met at the gate by the president.
Usually some people from the town would come in to the college to celebrate but he turned them away.

I had to hide my bottle of lemonade and the packet of chocolate biscuits under my coat going in.

It was a diocesan school so he was called up to the Bishop to explain. We never heard anything more about it.
Did you ever meet Dickens?
 
Top