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Have a bitch Social distancing problems

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by slim63, Mar 26, 2020 at 6:51 PM.

  1. slim63

    slim63 Never surrender Club Sponsor

    There has been a few problems already mentioned but here is mine from earlier on today

    I had to go shopping today & at the greengrocers they have sensible social distancing measures in place, plenty of signs up, tape marking out 2m on the floor & even someone ready to explain it all to the hard of thinking (complete with mask & gloves) (y)

    All would be well you would think ? …………………. no, this shop is narrow with a one way system otherwise customers would be falling over each other at the best of times! So I enter keeping to the marked lines & its ok until some stupid bitch stands nattering on her phone right in front of what I want to buy, I stand calmly for a while then look round & see the queue forming behind me, it becomes obvious this daft bitch isn't moving any time soon so in my usual subtle way is shout OI SHIFT IT YOU DUMB COW ! finally she looks up ignores me & goes back to gobbing off on the phone :eek:

    A sales assistant appears & asks her to move so the dumb cow does a sharp about face & barges past everyone in the queue going completely the wrong way, still on the phone :mad: ....................... Never before have I been seriously inclined to punch a woman but i'm pretty sure she doesn't know how close she came to being flattened

    Small saggy tits Poo Plow :D
     
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  2. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Should have thrown a tin of beans at her head.
     
  3. slim63

    slim63 Never surrender Club Sponsor

    I was stuck between mushrooms & peppers Derek ;)
     
  4. JayTee

    JayTee Old Hand Club Sponsor


    Carry a 12G no fecker comes within a mile.:camper:
     
  5. Centaur

    Centaur Site Pedant Club Sponsor

    Ok, I'll be the one to ask! What's a 12G, JT? :confused: Is it heavy to carry?
     
  6. JayTee

    JayTee Old Hand Club Sponsor

    Not if you saw the barrels off.
     
  7. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Scotch bonnet rubbed into her eyes then
     
  8. Squag1

    Squag1 Can't remember.... Club Sponsor

    I would tell you but I don't know how to spell gauge, Andy will explain why:D

    It's the accent you see!
     
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  9. DEG5Y

    DEG5Y Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    :jaja-no::jaja-no::jaja-no:
     
  10. Malone

    Malone Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Should have “peppered” her with something to hand.
     
  11. Minkey

    Minkey Ok it was me Club Sponsor

    At work yesterday a customer started to approach me to ask a question, I started to back up trying to keep a safe distance between us, she just didn't get the message and even though we had marked out squares for people to stand in whilst waiting to pay, some people were going between them.
     
  12. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    Sharp pointy stick required.
     
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  13. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo I am Grasshopper! Club Sponsor

    Well? Did she?
     
  14. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Get a large towel & corkscrew it round, wet the tip & if anyone comes within the distance flick them with it.
     
  15. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo I am Grasshopper! Club Sponsor

    At last, a proper report! It’s only taken about eight years :meparto:

    As for her, I am not a violent man, not by any stretch of the imagination, particularly man on woman. However, if ever a woman was asking for it then this one clearly was.
     
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  16. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    If someone approaches you in a threatening manner you are lawfully allowed a pre-emptive strike. If you told her not to come near & she ignored you then I am sure you would be covered words to remember to say to the Police, I feared for my safety/life
     
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  17. ogr1

    ogr1 I can still see ya..... Club Sponsor

    I keep telling the contactors exactly that.
    Because you haven't been trained in
    fu man chu...kick feck out of em.
     
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  18. sr71caspar

    sr71caspar B̶a̶n̶n̶e̶d̶ Club Sponsor

    The other sentence worth remembering is "I used the minimum force necessary".
     
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  19. Malone

    Malone Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Get your retaliation in first.
     
  20. Squag1

    Squag1 Can't remember.... Club Sponsor

    Father and son denied bail today after spitting on two police during a street drug search.

    Several instances north and south.
    Think someone up north got arrested too.
     

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