Pond life

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by derek kelly, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Bev was in Sheffield Crown Court today as a witness against the moron that used his car to ram her car off the road last year, after much waiting around he changed his plea to guilty & gets sentenced on 18th July, anyway the post is not specifically about him, we sat in the Court canteen at lunchtime when three people in their late twenties early thirties came in, two blokes & woman, the woman was very irate & saying she was going to smack the security guard that searched her & confiscated the crystal meth that she had in her purse, she went on to say if she was sent down she wasn't going down without a fight, one of the guys with her handed her the smallest mobile phone you've ever seen, obviously to plug up one of her orifices when she went to prison.
    A quick phone call to reception staff at HMP New hall & told them to expect a 5'8" peroxide blond skank with a phone located somewhere about her person.
     
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  2. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    Well? Did she have big tits or what?
     
  3. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    No, best description, ironing board for a body, head like an easter island statue, tits like bee stings, legs like an AA roadmap
     
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  4. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    That's better. Now, can you please report properly in future.
     
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  5. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    I had similar on a flight back from Amsterdam. Young lad wanted to argue about everything with the stewardess, and made a point of disobeying her polite requests and instructions, wouldn't do his belt up, got up,as soon as the plane hit the runway, etc. Spent the other half of the flight staring at other passengers looking for trouble.

    I guessed he was probably stoned.

    As I only had hand luggage and was way ahead of him in terms of leaving the baggage area I had a word with customs on the way out. Hopefully he got the full body search.
     
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  6. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor



    Grass.




    .





    .


    .or maybe it was something stronger.
     
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  7. Me!

    Me! Utterly retired Club Sponsor

    Dirk.... that’s good, for you that’s actually quite tremendous. Have a rest. Take the horse and cart out.
     
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  8. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    Did the stewardess have big tits?
     
  9. Ajeman

    Ajeman Old Hand Club Sponsor

    I remember when I had to go to the Magistrates court (Minor motor offence) so 21 year old me thinks "Court, best put a suit on"


    Boy did I feel overdressed compared to everyone else!
     
  10. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    No idea.

    She did have a nice personality and a very patient manner though.
     
  11. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    I'm making her hunters chicken for tea.
     
  12. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    I bet Hunter is going to be really p*ssed that you have nicked his chicken
     
  13. Vinterceptor

    Vinterceptor Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Sounds like a classic diversion ploy, I'm surprised it wasn't you who received the rubber glove treatment
     
  14. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    Oh I did. It was lovely.

    Mission accomplished.
     
  15. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    More pond life...

    IMG_1233.JPG
     
  16. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    That is definitely in the upper echelons of pond life compared with those to which I refer.
     
  17. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    In other words, she was fat.
     
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  18. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    I never noticed. I was engaging with her in conversation.
     
  19. Squag1

    Squag1 Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    "He needs to go to Specsavers" :D
     

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