Oops

[derek kelly]

Took Grandson to the horses this morning to cheer him up a bit, as I was driving there a 3.5t pick up came towards us & started to pass a parked car on his side of the road, unaware that I’d actually commented I carried on. After feeding the horses we went back to ours so Joe could see his Grandma, Joe suddenly asked “Grandma, what’s a duckhead?”

 

[Squag1]

A guy I know had a similar experience, but, there were the other kids in the car.
One of them chided the father. The smallest, about 5, piped up, but he could have said...and launched into a string of swear words.
The father nearly exploded with laughter but couldn't be seen to laugh.
He has no idea where the child learned.

I had a good vocabulary when I was about that age mainly due to the fact that I used to spend time in the garage a few doors away.

 

[Cougar377]

Years ago I caught our next door neighbours little boy throwing stones at one of our cats, which was in their garden using their flower bed as a loo.
I told him off, saying that it could hurt the cat or hit someone else.
"If you have to chase it away then use water", says I.
Next thing I hear him in their kitchen asking his mum if he could have a water pistol.
"Why.?"
"Cos John said I could soak his cats".

 

[Pow-Lo]

I had a burd what had two kids many, many years ago. One day we took them to Bristol Zoo for the day (he was eight and she was about four) and it wasn't the easiest day I'd ever had. Anyhoo, that evening on the way home, I was driving and had just negotiated my way through the town traffic and onto the motorway. She was in the from with me and leant across to rest her head on my shoulder and said "it's been a hard day, hasn't it, babe". Before I had a chance to reply, the boy piped up from the back "oi you two, stop shagging in the car!"

Keep in mind that I was at 70mph, I burst out laughing and she whirled around to tear a strip off him. I laughed even harder at her screaming and his startled protests. She then turned to tear a strip off me for laughing, at which point I laughed even harder. Next, I find myself in the inside lane doing 30 mph before winding up stopped in the hard shoulder laughing so hard I felt sick.

 

[derek kelly]

When I was about ten I went to Pateley bridge with a friend & his parents, we passed a field & Martin (my friend) said “look at those cows shagging” when we got back my Mother asked “did you have a nice time? Did you see anything?” I innocently said “yes, we saw two cows shagging” I couldn’t understand why my Mother whacked me round the head

 

[Centaur]

When I was about ten I went to Pateley bridge with a friend & his parents, we passed a field & Martin (my friend) said “look at those cows shagging” when we got back my Mother asked “did you have a nice time? Did you see anything?” I innocently said “yes, we saw two cows shagging” I couldn’t understand why my Mother whacked me round the head

my Mother whacked me round the head

So that's what happened to you, Derek. We were all wondering.

 

[Squag1]

my Mother whacked me round the head

So that's what happened to you, Derek. We were all wondering.

Not often enough!!!!!

 

[derek kelly]

Oops 2

going to the horses today, got to a mini roundabout, woman in a white Nissan came straight over from my left, “idiot” I muttered under my breath “duckhead” said Joe.

 

[andyBeaker]

Oops 2

going to the horses today, got to a mini roundabout, woman in a white Nissan came straight over from my left, “idiot” I muttered under my breath “duckhead” said Joe.

He shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that.

 

[derek kelly]

He shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that.

You don’t know the half of it.