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More Home injuries.

Discussion in 'Coffee Shop' started by ianrobbo1, Dec 1, 2019.

  1. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

    I seem to have gotten over the cutting me to bits stage, now it seems burning is the new way to go, whilst cooking dinner for us, I managed to pick up the spud pan with a couple of fingers not covered by the tea towel, did it hurt ?? fek yus !! :( I'm just sat here feeling sorry for myself now and just wondering how many others have done similar dumb things, or is it "just me" :rolleyes: go on, dip yer bread!!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Jaws

    Jaws Corporal CockUp Staff Member Moderator

    Oh dear !
    Though I suspect you idea of extreme dieting by cutting bits off your self is more down to stepping away from the power tools !
     
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  3. Minkey

    Minkey Ok it was me Club Sponsor

    I have a problem with doing the ironing as I always burn myself :(
     
  4. jeffa

    jeffa Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Minkey, remove the garments before you start
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • Informative Informative x 1
  5. sr71caspar

    sr71caspar B̶a̶n̶n̶e̶d̶ Club Sponsor

    Minkey, turn off your phone before ironing.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  6. Squag1

    Squag1 Can't remember.... Club Sponsor

    Once got steak on stone slab (bit of a gimmick). I left the fork on the slab while doing something. I proceeded to continue with meal and picked up the fork.

    I dropped it very smartly :eek:
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Only when the phone rings.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    Do you mean you dropped it very tidily in the perfect position?
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    First time I was left home alone by parents I put myself in A&E opeining a tin of corned beef.

    Can't remember exactly how many but tennish stitches in my thumb.

    Chipped a kneecap stepping over a 12" tall wall. Never known pain like it.
     
    • Useful Useful x 1
  10. slim63

    slim63 Never surrender Club Sponsor

    Accidents hmmm ............ had a few :( this is just a small selection

    Stuck a Stanley knife through the web between my thumb & forefinger, ran a hand saw down the length of my thigh somehow, smacked a hole in my top lip on the edge of a coal bunker, hung myself up by my wedding ring off a nail, broke numerous toes numerous times, had that many welding burns I no longer notice until much later & X-ray's of my hands look like an AA road map with all the fine cracks/breaks

    But I try to keep out of the kitchen as they are dangerous places best left to the enemy :D
     
    • Great stuff ! Great stuff ! x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  11. Malone

    Malone Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    And that was only this morning! :risas3:
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Squag1

    Squag1 Can't remember.... Club Sponsor

    In my usual talented fashion:p
     
  13. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    I was knifed in the thigh by one of the dogs, a few years ago.....

    Chopping up stuff while the dogs waited attentively in the middle of the kitchen floor. At one point I stepped across the kitchen with the knife in my hand and instinctively I reversed the knife so that the blade was pointing inwards (so no daft mutt would spear himself on it). As I moved, one eager hound (trying to beat the rest) barrelled into me thinking I had scoff in my hand.... pushing the knife into my leg. :confused:

    Even I didn't recognise some of the swear words.
     
    • Love it ! Love it ! x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  14. ogr1

    ogr1 Sex Engineer Club Sponsor

    Pussy!:rolleyes:
    When I were a lad....
    Had a fight with a 2ft bladed chain saw.
    As you can imagine...I lost miserably.
    Not that I suffered any lasting disabilities,
    but the fecker had two bites out me thigh
    and I now wear a permanent "V" shape
    scar....I did have cold sweats and a few nightmares afterwards, used to wake up just before the chainsaw hit me between the eyes....Weird.
    Guess you call that PTSD now.
     
  15. andyBeaker

    andyBeaker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Club Sponsor

    My brother broke his elbow when I pushed him over while he was wearing roller skates.

    He couldn't play the saxophone for some time.
     
    • GROAN ! GROAN ! x 1
  16. derek kelly

    derek kelly The Deli lama Club Sponsor

    If we’re listing injuries.
    Broken arm.
    Broken nose.
    Broken toes.
    Broken neck
    Dislocated fingers due to volleyball
    Several sprains
    Several torn ligaments
    Countless cuts & bruises.
    Frozen shoulder due to Motorbike accident.
    Floating cartilage in left knee due to football
     
  17. ianrobbo1

    ianrobbo1 good looking AND modest Club Sponsor

    Samsung s2 pictures 383.jpg image.jpg
    PLEASE!!! if it self damage you want, :rolleyes:
     
  18. Pow-Lo

    Pow-Lo B.I.R.D Legend Club Sponsor

    I caught my cock in my zip whilst trying to put it away pissed. It was that little piece of skin that secures the underside of the foreskin to the helmet. I was a late teenager at the time, never seen so much blood.

    The real problem was that the cut in the skin was transverse so any tension across it (shagging, bashing one out) would result in the wound re-opening.

    The problem was fixed a few years later in St. Thomas’ Hospital, London, with plastic surgery to realign the scar to run longitudinally. My claim to fame is that I was operated on by the only professor of plastics in the UK at the time.
     
  19. jeffa

    jeffa Been there, and had one Club Sponsor

    Me eyes are watering :(
     
  20. Cougar377

    Cougar377 Express elevator to hell Club Sponsor

    Pah....you need to get out more.... :D

    Fractured skull x 2
    Broken nose x 2
    Fractured cheekbone
    Cracked eye socket
    Broken jaw
    Broken vertebrae x 3 - 2 at top of the spine fused + 1 mid back
    Cracked collar bone - left side
    Ribs - lost count
    Fingers and thumbs - lost count
    Hand bones (metacarpals) - left x 3
    Toes x 4 - left foot
    Broken lower arm - left x 1 , right x 1
    Broken wrist - left x 1 , right x 2
    Shattered left fib and tib
    Broken ankle - left x 1, right x 1

    Honourable mentions include - dislocated shoulder x 2, dislocated fingers and knuckles.
     

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