Marriage break ups

[andyBeaker]

We seem to be going through a spate where our friends ‘kids’ (in their thirties) are sadly suffering from marriage breakdowns. None of which appear to involve a ‘third party’.

The common thread is that they (the parents) are totally blind to the fact that it takes two people to make a marriage work, as far as they are all concerned their son/daughter are all blameless.

With such tunnel vision it’s hardly surprising that so many breakups end in acrimony and solicitors laugh all the way to the Mercedes’ dealership.

 

[derek kelly]

Some so called expert stated on telly that men never leave a marriage unless there is another person involved & to be honest I cannot think of anyone I know who’s marriage broke up by the bloke just getting fed up & walking away, there have been three marriage break ups in my family, my daughter when she discovered that she married a lying cheating dirty philandering narcissist, & my niece who had both marriages ended by finding the same thing about both her husband’s, her second husband dropped himself in it, he was a WO1 in the Army, he told her he couldn’t return to their home in Germany as he was on exercise, she then saw a picture on facebook of him getting cosy with a neighbour on a sailing boat in Ireland.

 

[Malone]

We didn’t divorce because neither of us wanted custody

 

[andyBeaker]

Some so called expert stated on telly that men never leave a marriage unless there is another person involved & to be honest I cannot think of anyone I know who’s marriage broke up by the bloke just getting fed up & walking away, there have been three marriage break ups in my family, my daughter when she discovered that she married a lying cheating dirty philandering narcissist, & my niece who had both marriages ended by finding the same thing about both her husband’s, her second husband dropped himself in it, he was a WO1 in the Army, he told her he couldn’t return to their home in Germany as he was on exercise, she then saw a picture on facebook of him getting cosy with a neighbour on a sailing boat in Ireland.

I am aware of two break ups where the male has just got fed up and walked away. As far as I can be certain there isn’t anyone else involved.

On the flip side we have friends who have been married for 30+ years where the husband has confided in me he is deeply unhappy in the relationship following his belief that his wife had an affair with someone she worked with (for what it’s worth I don’t think she did, more of a silly short term ‘if we weren’t both married’ workplace non-physical thing). ironically he was married when he met and had an affair with his now current wife leading to divorce from his first wife, the hypocrisy is mind blowing. Anyway, what a sad existence, although I hate seeing marriages break up walking away is a brave thing to do………obviously if there are kids involved it’s not straightforward…..

 

[slim63]

I know one younger couple who broke up over an argument about who was doing the washing up which is a sad reflection on the world today ... from my point of view marriage does not mean the same as it did back when i got married in the early 80's :ie real lifetime commitment, now its just seems to be an excuse for a party and the younger generation seem happy to move along at will

I married once and married for life unfortunately that didn't last anywhere near as long as it should have and its still painful 20 odd years on, youngsters today simply don't understand, the attitude seems to be that this will be a laugh and when i want to get out i can which is no way to start any sort of partnership

 

[Lee337]

I, sadly walked away from a relationship of 9 years. No one else involved, and the separation was amicable. It was just one of those things, it was no longer working & rather than prolong the misery, probably for both of us, I left, so it does & can happen. Without going in to detail, I walked away with my personal possessions only, left the house & contents (with 6 payments on the mortgage to go).

It probably led to one of the most difficult and dark periods of my life and the decision wasn't taken lightly. Suffice it to say, my ex came out of it far better than I did, both physically & emotionally. On the plus side, I'm in a far better place now than I would have been had I stayed where I was & have been with Mrs L for 15 years. As for my ex, she's not doing too bad either.

In my immediate family, I have two nephews, one 30 and the other 27 and one niece who's 20, both boys are single having never married although one is in & out of relationships quicker than a cabinet shuffle, the niece has been in a steady relationship since she was16. The majority of the younger generation definitely seems to view relationships differently to us oldies.

 

[Squag1]

Hadn't been going well, lot of reasons.
She came home from work one day packed a bag and left.
I think she miscalculated as green hills weren't as green as she thought.
On her own now.
As for me..... too long boring story.

But I do decide when to do wash up!!!

 

[Malone]

Get a dog to help wash the dishes

 

[Minkey]

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Years ago I was friends with a couple who I thought had the perfect marriage, they always seemed happy when out.

Then one day I heard she had run off with a friend, it turned out her husband had been knocking seven bells out of her, and the friend hadn't run off with her but had taken her away to some place safe.

 

[andyBeaker]

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Years ago I was friends with a couple who I thought had the perfect marriage, they always seemed happy when out.

Then one day I heard she had run off with a friend, it turned out her husband had been knocking seven bells out of her, and the friend hadn't run off with her but had taken her away to some place safe.

Sadly that’s all too familiar. I have been looking at statistics for quite a while for how one of the larger police forces spend their time and domestic violence is a large chunk.

From my personal experience that I have seen with others (not us fortunately) marriages seem to struggle when the parents of the newly weds can’t leave them alone. In my experienceSeems to be the brides parents….in each other’s houses every five minutes, going on holiday together…most weekends together ……unsurprisingly the groom tends to get fed up with this quite quickly. Not saying it doesn’t happen the other way round, just saying what I have seen.

 

[slim63]

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Years ago I was friends with a couple who I thought had the perfect marriage, they always seemed happy when out.

Then one day I heard she had run off with a friend, it turned out her husband had been knocking seven bells out of her, and the friend hadn't run off with her but had taken her away to some place safe.

A long time friend of mine suffered in silence for years before she eventually moved out and it all came out, no other way to put it but the guttless bastard had been hitting her in places it wouldn't show for almost their entire marriage of well over 20 years
Needless to say he was visited and (ahem) spoken to on a number of occasions by a number of people to the point that leaving the house was a lottery for him ... eventually he decided moving up north was a good idea

Their son eventually followed along with a lifelong friend of one of my daughters and it eventually it came out that he was just like his dad, I rode up there myself and had a few "pointed words" with him, within a couple of months my daughters friend was back in our home town and is now doing well with a new fella who is the nicest bloke you could wish to meet

 

[derek kelly]

My niece’s first marriage was to the son of a pools winner who opened a string of butcher’s shops, one Christmas I rang my brother for Kirsty’s address, he then told me she’d moved back home as her husband was messing about, a few weeks later we were at a party, my eldest sister in law after a few drinks let slip that Kirsty’s husband kept her locked in a room & used to beat her, when I asked David (Kirsty’s dad) about it he told me they didn’t tell me because they knew I’d do something about it, we had a bit of a fall out after I called David a coward for letting him get away with it, after a couple of days David called round & explained that Kirsty was safely out of the marriage & I was on the right side of the bars.