-
Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
I need your input on this.
- Thread starter Bubba
- Start date
PsychoBikerBen
Psychotic Artworker. RIP
"My other Bird has a bush"
"Rated - Double X"
"Rated - Double X"
birdinflight
Registered User
Oh dear.......................
have i been here before !!!!!!!!
Wait for the abuse Bubba!!!!!!!!! :}
have i been here before !!!!!!!!
Wait for the abuse Bubba!!!!!!!!! :}
S
Steptoe
Guest
Bubba
As you ride a twin, perhaps
It takes two.................
Or something, can't get that song out of my head now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! c7u8
As you ride a twin, perhaps
It takes two.................
Or something, can't get that song out of my head now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! c7u8
PsychoBikerBen
Psychotic Artworker. RIP
Steptoe said:
Am I missing something?
Is Bubba not riding a Blackbird anymore-I know he had a prang-so what wheels are you on now Bubbs?
Supabird1100
Registered User
PsychoBikerBen said:
Didn't Bubba get a Mille around Xmas time ????? :dunno:
Alan Howard
Registered User
Now M8 that is an opening for abuse; man8um
'stop gap to the Harley'
'cheesecake express' (private joke)
'This way up'
Think I might print off the Christmas shag bit & bring it with me on my next visit %$fan !!!
'stop gap to the Harley'
'cheesecake express' (private joke)
'This way up'
Think I might print off the Christmas shag bit & bring it with me on my next visit %$fan !!!
cianocarroll125
Fireblade Convert
My mate's got on his....
"Got rid of the wife, got a life"
the wife also happened to be my cousin, but mates is mates eh!
"Got rid of the wife, got a life"
the wife also happened to be my cousin, but mates is mates eh!
Bubba
Registered User
If you did it woulnt just be me she'd kick in the bollox! PLUS you'd loose your cheesecake privilege.
Has been suggested that I should have either
"Theres always time for lubricant" (I hope thats a reference to my dryish chain!!)
or
"will wank for coins"
Thanks to the guys on the CSC Unity helpdesk!
Bubba
Registered User
Oh sorry limpdick, forgot your an expert on Motorcycles. "Please follow if you are an RAC Van". WTF is that? You playing on the "I had a friend once who had a mille and it was nothing but trouble" thread like FB?? There are several members in here that are/where mille owners and NOT ONE of them has had problems. I will go as far to say that my Mille is less of a problem, costs less to run, insure, maintain than my old blackie AND its more fun to ride too.
Unless you have a very valid comment to make on the Aprilia then shut the feck up. If you have got a good comment to make then lets hear it, I will be interested. I do suspect it will be the same senile drivvle that you spout week in, week out.
F
frenchuk
Guest
few bumper stickers you could use...
BUMPER STICKER JOKES>
I snatch kisses and vise versa
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your f#@$*! turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat the #### out of Your Soccer Mom!
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute?!
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your #### probe?
God was my co-pilot, but we crashed into the mountains and I had to eat him.
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Most cats blink when hit in the head with a ball pein hammer!
SO MANY CATS SO FEW RECIPES
If you don't like the way I drive get off the sidewalk!
It's all fun and games, till I run you over with my car.
HAPPINESS IS SEEING YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PICTURE ON A MILK CARTON!
#### yes I'm drunk
I'm not a stunt driver!
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Do I look like a f_cking people person?
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
You! Off my planet!
Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest. And be proud of it!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....
Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Everybody repeat after me.....We are all individuals.
Death to all fanatics!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
#### hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
"If you're rich, I'm single."
"Star light, star bright, where the #### is Mr. Right?"
Honk if your horn is broken.
Mean People Suck.
How do blind people know when they're done wiping their a**?
Nice People Swallow.
SUX 2 B U !
UB6IB9
A day without sunshine is like night.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.
One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid
the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom, Sometimes age comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
Once you've got them by the balls...their hearts and mind will follow
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
So many Dicks, So few Richards.
Geez, it was just a lane change.
Get off the phone and drive.
Bad Cop. No Donut!
I miss my ex-wife...but my aim is getting better.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I subport publik edjekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Keep honking...I'm reloading.
Caution: I drive like you do.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let HER sleep.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the IRS.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
A boss is like a diaper; Always on your ass and usually full of s**t!
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Cat: The Other White Meat.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That.
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition.
What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull.
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
All generalizations are false.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Forget the Jones's, I keep up with the Simpson's.
Born free...Taxed to death.
Welcome to Texas, now go home.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Rehab is for quitters.
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now.
If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off... [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over [Seen Upside Down, on A Jeep]
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
I don't get even, I get odder.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
I am having an out of money experience.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you
like.
Any bug can hit a window but it takes guts to stick!
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the
same reason.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.
STUPIDITY should be painful
YOU ALL laugh because I'M Different, I laugh because YOU'RE ALL the same.
Why is "big" small and "small" big?
Let me tell you about my grandparents
I smile because they haven't found the bodies yet.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If your not a hemorrhoid, Get off my ####
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Me, getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger near the escape key.
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm merely a carrier.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never divulge everything you know.
Tell me what you need, and I'll explain how you can get along without it.
I may not agree with your bumper sticker but I shall defend to the death your right to stick it.
If you had that cell phone stuck up your a** then may be you would be able to drive.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty, And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria -- they're the only culture some people have.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane, going the wrong way.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Bill Clinton, Commander in Heat.
I just got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
The trouble with work is - it's so daily.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
Pain and suffering are inevitable but misery is optional.
I am not ILLEGITIMATE,
I know how to read!!
"BLONDES ARE NOT STUPID." (sticked upside down.)
My other ride is your daughter
BUMPER STICKER JOKES>
I snatch kisses and vise versa
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your f#@$*! turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat the #### out of Your Soccer Mom!
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute?!
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your #### probe?
God was my co-pilot, but we crashed into the mountains and I had to eat him.
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Most cats blink when hit in the head with a ball pein hammer!
SO MANY CATS SO FEW RECIPES
If you don't like the way I drive get off the sidewalk!
It's all fun and games, till I run you over with my car.
HAPPINESS IS SEEING YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PICTURE ON A MILK CARTON!
#### yes I'm drunk
I'm not a stunt driver!
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Do I look like a f_cking people person?
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
You! Off my planet!
Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest. And be proud of it!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....
Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Everybody repeat after me.....We are all individuals.
Death to all fanatics!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
#### hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
"If you're rich, I'm single."
"Star light, star bright, where the #### is Mr. Right?"
Honk if your horn is broken.
Mean People Suck.
How do blind people know when they're done wiping their a**?
Nice People Swallow.
SUX 2 B U !
UB6IB9
A day without sunshine is like night.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.
One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid
the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom, Sometimes age comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
Once you've got them by the balls...their hearts and mind will follow
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
So many Dicks, So few Richards.
Geez, it was just a lane change.
Get off the phone and drive.
Bad Cop. No Donut!
I miss my ex-wife...but my aim is getting better.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I subport publik edjekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Keep honking...I'm reloading.
Caution: I drive like you do.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let HER sleep.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the IRS.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
A boss is like a diaper; Always on your ass and usually full of s**t!
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Cat: The Other White Meat.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That.
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition.
What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull.
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
All generalizations are false.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Forget the Jones's, I keep up with the Simpson's.
Born free...Taxed to death.
Welcome to Texas, now go home.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Rehab is for quitters.
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now.
If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off... [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over [Seen Upside Down, on A Jeep]
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
I don't get even, I get odder.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
I am having an out of money experience.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you
like.
Any bug can hit a window but it takes guts to stick!
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the
same reason.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.
STUPIDITY should be painful
YOU ALL laugh because I'M Different, I laugh because YOU'RE ALL the same.
Why is "big" small and "small" big?
Let me tell you about my grandparents
I smile because they haven't found the bodies yet.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If your not a hemorrhoid, Get off my ####
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Me, getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger near the escape key.
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm merely a carrier.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never divulge everything you know.
Tell me what you need, and I'll explain how you can get along without it.
I may not agree with your bumper sticker but I shall defend to the death your right to stick it.
If you had that cell phone stuck up your a** then may be you would be able to drive.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty, And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria -- they're the only culture some people have.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane, going the wrong way.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Bill Clinton, Commander in Heat.
I just got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
The trouble with work is - it's so daily.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
Pain and suffering are inevitable but misery is optional.
I am not ILLEGITIMATE,
I know how to read!!
"BLONDES ARE NOT STUPID." (sticked upside down.)
My other ride is your daughter
M
mikew
Guest
well ...........
I was going to "Quote" FUK post ... but I couldn't find the time! :}
Bubba,
How about..
All revved up and no place to go..
or..
It's a speed thing. No, you're right, you wouldn't understand.
:beer:
I was going to "Quote" FUK post ... but I couldn't find the time! :}
Bubba,
How about..
All revved up and no place to go..
or..
It's a speed thing. No, you're right, you wouldn't understand.
:beer:
Q
