How to bollock a Greek~~

[fat bert]

Funny story really.....

Visited Pete the Kebab mans place on Saturday [well it was time for me to collect his monthly loan repayment]

Chunk Monkey was "in tow" just for a bit of company really

We were greeted by the sight of the KebabMan dressed in baseball cap, sweaty old t shirt, ripped jeans and muddy boots.

"all dresssed up for the board room then pete?"

On a gloriously sunny Saturday afternoon, was he out riding his SP1???....was he cleaning and prepping the Bird for the coming season???..was he in the bookies losing a fortune???

NO !!

He was in the back garden building a PATIO!!

Well, actually, he calls it a "Terrace"

Told him to build an dunny at the end to make him feel @ home!!

He looked over Chunkey's new VTR - fired it up - jumped on [complete with muddy Toe-Tectors and shot off down the road like a scalded cat.

However, he'd only done 10 metres before his "lucky" baseball cap flew of his head and disappeared into a neighbours garden - never to be seen again!!

He returned after a few minutes - cursing his lost cap - told Chunky "That doesn't sound like a V twin".....THIS sounds like a V twin, as he cracked open the SP1 [complete with Wolf Cans].

After 5 minutes of completely reckless revving of the SP, he remembered that the bike was actually still in the garage - pipes facing back towards the kitchen door.

Mrs KebabMan magically appeared and gave him serious verbals

"Phooking 'ell Pete...the chandeliers are hanging off the wall and the tin cans in the pantry have all fallen off the shelves"

Ever wanted to burst into hysterical laughing but daren't for fear of reprisal???????

"Furthermore" she added "my mothers on the upstairs lavvy and has just SHIT herself"

Never again ROFLMAO

 

[richard]

Wat a lafff m8 its no good gonna have to get may arce down the Derby way..





richard

 

[fat bert]

Richard~~

Be nice to meet up with you mate.

However, don't forget your "Mamby Pamby" Muffs though - you and Cyclops can have a sweet little chat about the benefits of barbie pink versus pale blue!!

Perhaps you both could have "hand muff speed trials" - see who can get to 60mph the quickest without suffering "terminal muff flap back"??

Which colour are the quickest muffs????

This could be a new category at Santa Pod - I'll make enquiries for both you Wus Boyz!!!

LOL

 

[richard]

Re: Richard~~

Originally posted by fat bert

Which colour are the quickest muffs????



Linz muff is blond and is very quick and the Tyers match the bike



LOL

richard

:blush: :blush: :blush:

 

[Cyclops]

Richard

all this shite from a man who has a matching ensonble of POOFTY PINK Leathers and a Loverly POOFTY PINK seat on his Bird !!!!!!!





:f You old TART

 

[richard]

Whos got the leathers pic?????????????






LOL

richard

 

[Bubba]

Wot,

this one??

 

[richard]

Re: Wot,

Originally posted by Bubba
this one??

cheers
Bubba

Phookin BRILLIANT

LOL
richard

 

[fat bert]

There's phook all~~

wrond with those leathers!!

It's the lack of hair that's worrying me!!


btw Cyclops...............
.
.
.
.

matching ensonble

what the hells an "ensomble" when it's a home??

Presumably you mean "ensemble" ya illiterate old codger??

As for Linz's "Muff" being blonde Richard - too much info - so I've emailed her this link so she can attach photographic evidence - whilst bollocking you for giving away personal details!!!

Leading question at the Bash is gonne be "Linz - show us ya blond muff?"

ROFLMAO

 

[Cyclops]

You old twat

Presumably you mean "ensemble" ya illiterate old codger??

Writes this in his last post.


wrond with those leathers!! :t


and thens goes on to call me for bud spulling:f :f


Anyone got a picture of his Bird compleate with Poooohty PINK seat ??????

 

[fat bert]

The occasional typo~~

is acceptable Cyclops.

Complete illiteracy aint !!!

:} :} :f

 

[Jaws]

Fat Bert Said
It's the lack of hair that's worrying me!!

Dont worry FB, its all just moving about mate.. plenty of hair up your nose and in your ears !

 

[fat bert]

Hmmm - wht is it the~~

That the proportional rate of hair growth on the male species remains the same throughout life, yet in our "prime" years, the bastid starts sprouting out of [nearly] every orrifice rather than where it's supposed to be?

Beats me

btw seems better to pull out nostril hairs rather than "trim" - last week had a little bugger that was 2.5cm long - boy did it make my eyes water LOL

 

[Chunky Monkey]

re; hair.......

bertie ..what worries me ..is...that when you tug your nasil hair , your toes curl up !!!!

Ali barba..fender bender bert.........( the lights are shaking off the bloody wall Pete)...
still got tears in my eyes..lol

 

[petrosc]

Chunkey Monkey

No bother any more....fixed the bastards....

6" nails,8" woodscrews and 3 tubs of superglue..
FIXED THE PROBLEM..

So I tested it tonight (just).. Lights - no problem..so I thought.

The bloody fridge fell over from the other side of the wall!!!!!
Would you believe it....another bolloking...

And...next doors car alarm went off...I ve had enough.

I am putting the original exhausts on.

:bang:

 

[Chunky Monkey]

re; fridge.......

Pete ..the only reason the fridge fell over is;......Bert and Cyclops emptied the damn thing at the weekend........( you what Berts like)...:} :beer:

 

[petrosc]

Re: re; fridge.......

Originally posted by Chunky Monkey
Pete ..the only reason the fridge fell over is;......Bert and Cyclops emptied the damn thing at the weekend........( you what Berts like)...:} :beer:

Could be right mate......

Not Cyclops though.....................

You know who :lick: