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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
Three men are walking in the desert, all dehydrated.
They approach a slide with an empty paddling pool beneath it with a wizard standing nearby.
Wizard: 'This slide is magical. When you slide down it, you can say a drink of your choosing and the paddling pool will fill up with that drink.'
The first guy slides down and shouts, 'Water!' and he lands in a pool filled with water.
The second guy slides down and says 'Apple Juice!' and lands in a pool filled with apple juice.
The third guy slides down and shouts, 'Wee!'
They approach a slide with an empty paddling pool beneath it with a wizard standing nearby.
Wizard: 'This slide is magical. When you slide down it, you can say a drink of your choosing and the paddling pool will fill up with that drink.'
The first guy slides down and shouts, 'Water!' and he lands in a pool filled with water.
The second guy slides down and says 'Apple Juice!' and lands in a pool filled with apple juice.
The third guy slides down and shouts, 'Wee!'
Three men are walking in the desert, all dehydrated.
They approach a slide with an empty paddling pool beneath it with a wizard standing nearby.
Wizard: 'This slide is magical. When you slide down it, you can say a drink of your choosing and the paddling pool will fill up with that drink.'
The first guy slides down and shouts, 'Water!' and he lands in a pool filled with water.
The second guy slides down and says 'Apple Juice!' and lands in a pool filled with apple juice.
The third guy slides down and shouts, 'Wee!'
They approach a slide with an empty paddling pool beneath it with a wizard standing nearby.
Wizard: 'This slide is magical. When you slide down it, you can say a drink of your choosing and the paddling pool will fill up with that drink.'
The first guy slides down and shouts, 'Water!' and he lands in a pool filled with water.
The second guy slides down and says 'Apple Juice!' and lands in a pool filled with apple juice.
The third guy slides down and shouts, 'Wee!'
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
A mad keen golfing couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary with a round of golf. As the husband was about to tee off he looked at his wife and said “love, I have a confession to make. On our wedding day I had sex with your friend, it was only once and I never cheated again.
The wife thinks on it then says “alright, it’s a long time ago so I can forgive you. After a few holes the wife looks at her hubby and says "seeing as how you were honest I have something to tell you.”,
The husband is shocked!, what is it????.
“Before I met you, a long time ago “,
” yes,what?, he says.”
"Well before I met you, I was …….a man!”.
The man thinks about it then absolutely does his nut!, “ you cheating , lying b****, “ throwing his clubs to the ground and kicking his cart.”
"For 25 years you’ve been playing off the women’s tee!”
The wife thinks on it then says “alright, it’s a long time ago so I can forgive you. After a few holes the wife looks at her hubby and says "seeing as how you were honest I have something to tell you.”,
The husband is shocked!, what is it????.
“Before I met you, a long time ago “,
” yes,what?, he says.”
"Well before I met you, I was …….a man!”.
The man thinks about it then absolutely does his nut!, “ you cheating , lying b****, “ throwing his clubs to the ground and kicking his cart.”
"For 25 years you’ve been playing off the women’s tee!”
Heard it already
