Bull!
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Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
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True Story,honest....
A top Lawyer arrived home late , after a very tough day trying to get a 'stay of execution' for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight ..
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed , and he was feeling worn out , and depressed ..
As soon as he walked through the door at home , his wife started on him about , 'What time of night to be getting home is this ..?
Where have you been ..! ?'
'Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it ..'. , And on and on and on and on ..
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual , he went and poured himself a shot of whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub , pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs ..
While he was in the bath , the phone rang ..
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client , James Wright , HAD been granted a *stay of execution* after all ...
Wright would NOT be hanged tonight ..
Finally realizing what a terrible day he MUST have had , she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news ..
As she opened the bathroom door , she was greeted by the sight of her husband , bent over naked , drying his legs and feet ..
'They're not hanging Wright tonight ,' she said ..
To which he turned around and screamed , For fuck's sake Woman,don't you ever shut up...
A top Lawyer arrived home late , after a very tough day trying to get a 'stay of execution' for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight ..
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed , and he was feeling worn out , and depressed ..
As soon as he walked through the door at home , his wife started on him about , 'What time of night to be getting home is this ..?
Where have you been ..! ?'
'Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it ..'. , And on and on and on and on ..
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual , he went and poured himself a shot of whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub , pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs ..
While he was in the bath , the phone rang ..
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client , James Wright , HAD been granted a *stay of execution* after all ...
Wright would NOT be hanged tonight ..
Finally realizing what a terrible day he MUST have had , she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news ..
As she opened the bathroom door , she was greeted by the sight of her husband , bent over naked , drying his legs and feet ..
'They're not hanging Wright tonight ,' she said ..
To which he turned around and screamed , For fuck's sake Woman,don't you ever shut up...
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying United Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?”
The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?”
The little boy admitted that she did. “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because United Airlines always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you.”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?”
The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?”
The little boy admitted that she did. “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because United Airlines always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you.”
Ten quid to see father Christmas in a flimsy little grotto, a badly wrapped cheap & nasty present & an out of focus photograph, just glad I didn’t take the kids.
If you laugh you’re going to hell