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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
A teacher asked his students to share what their dads do for a living;
Little Johnny said, My dad’s a stripper at a gay bar.
After class, teacher pulled him aside and said, is your dad really a stripper at a gay bar?
No, he’s a reporter for BBC but I was too ashamed to say that
Little Johnny said, My dad’s a stripper at a gay bar.
After class, teacher pulled him aside and said, is your dad really a stripper at a gay bar?
No, he’s a reporter for BBC but I was too ashamed to say that
Headline in a local paper
Flasher caught by the cock at Sibson
FYI the Cock Inn is a pub on the A444 not far from Twycross zoo
And does great food
Not eaten there for a while but it used to be great & cheap with it
As an aside I have been riding the 444 since I was 17, great bit of road if you get a clear run
my last time out on a bike was up the Ashby road & down the A444 to the A5 before bobbing off through the back lanes & out at kingsbury before home, it was midweek & I hardly saw a car 
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome?
Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply.
"We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser."
That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further.
I know that place.
Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser.
You and a million other people trying to see him.
He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.
You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.
The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman.
"Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great!
They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel.
The finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked.
So they apologized and gave us their Presidential suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican.
A Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand!
I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really!
What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who the
did your hair?"
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome?
Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply.
"We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser."
That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further.
I know that place.
Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser.
You and a million other people trying to see him.
He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.
You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.
The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman.
"Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great!
They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel.
The finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked.
So they apologized and gave us their Presidential suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican.
A Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand!
I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really!
What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who the
Not eaten there for a while but it used to be great & cheap with it
As an aside I have been riding the 444 since I was 17, great bit of road if you get a clear run
It is a good road shame about the 50 limits on it now... And the 40 limit on the road from Kingsbury heading towards Coventry on what was the A51
Paul Pogba goes into a bar & has a couple of shots, barman says “that’s not like you”
Driving past B&Q I asked Bev “how big’s the queue?” She replied “same size as the B”
You offering to host it then..?