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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
It will probably be in his stew later on.
That's how this whole thing started.
Last night while I was putting out the bins at 8pm I was singing 'if you all hate Leeds clap your hands, if you all hate Leeds clap your hands'.
I knew the feeling was strong but even I was amazed by the response.
That ones for you @derek kelly
I knew the feeling was strong but even I was amazed by the response.
That ones for you @derek kelly
Just rang the hospital to see how my Nan is getting on after using one of them new Dyson Ventilators...
They said she's picking up nicely!
Was so pissed last night I couldn't remember coming home from the kitchen!
Why did the man with the large penis cross the road?
Well, if you must know I just popped out for a pint of milk and a paper!
Bored now. Just been turned down from that NHS volunteer scheme - they've got enough gynaecologists apparently...
Just waiting to hear back from the breast clinic now!
Meatloaf just got married to an accountant...
She'll do anything for love but she won't do VAT!
I got my fully erect cock out with a prostitute last night.
"Woah!" she said. "You want to be careful with that, you could knock somebody out."
"Really?" I said surprised. "I didn't realise it was that big."
"Oh, it isn't," she cringed. "It fucking stinks!"
Just saw Paul from the Chuckle Brothers in Asda, but he was getting rather close to me...
I said to him, "Oi! Two metre you!"
Fucking hell, just took the bins out and got a round of applause!
Got my water bill today for the last 3 months. £250!
Then I saw an advert for Oxfam stating they can supply a whole village with water for £5 a month...
Think I'll be changing my supplier!
My three-year-old son got in the bath with me last night.
"Why is your willy much longer and fatter than mine?"
"I don't know daddy," he replied.
Now we have left the EU, shouldn't we be standing 6ft 7ins from people instead of 2 metres?
Just caught an absolutely disgusting pervert on the bus watching porn over my shoulder!
They said she's picking up nicely!
Was so pissed last night I couldn't remember coming home from the kitchen!
Why did the man with the large penis cross the road?
Well, if you must know I just popped out for a pint of milk and a paper!
Bored now. Just been turned down from that NHS volunteer scheme - they've got enough gynaecologists apparently...
Just waiting to hear back from the breast clinic now!
Meatloaf just got married to an accountant...
She'll do anything for love but she won't do VAT!
I got my fully erect cock out with a prostitute last night.
"Woah!" she said. "You want to be careful with that, you could knock somebody out."
"Really?" I said surprised. "I didn't realise it was that big."
"Oh, it isn't," she cringed. "It fucking stinks!"
Just saw Paul from the Chuckle Brothers in Asda, but he was getting rather close to me...
I said to him, "Oi! Two metre you!"
Fucking hell, just took the bins out and got a round of applause!
Got my water bill today for the last 3 months. £250!
Then I saw an advert for Oxfam stating they can supply a whole village with water for £5 a month...
Think I'll be changing my supplier!
My three-year-old son got in the bath with me last night.
"Why is your willy much longer and fatter than mine?"
"I don't know daddy," he replied.
Now we have left the EU, shouldn't we be standing 6ft 7ins from people instead of 2 metres?
Just caught an absolutely disgusting pervert on the bus watching porn over my shoulder!
And it would have been funny if I’d not seen it forty thousand times for different teams (even egg chasing) on FacebookLast night while I was putting out the bins at 8pm I was singing 'if you all hate Leeds clap your hands, if you all hate Leeds clap your hands'.
I knew the feeling was strong but even I was amazed by the response.
That ones for you @derek kelly
