• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

Squag1

Can't remember....
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Bit scary really as I gather there are areas like that, or is it a myth???
 

T.C

Been there, and had one
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My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out...
I can't read a fucking word now!

My wife has left me because I keep getting erections in the most inappropriate places...
The last one was in her sister!

Doctor: "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?"
Patient: "Good new please."
Doctor: "We’re naming a disease after you!"
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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Why does the name Edward Woodward have four 'd's' in it ?




























Cos Ewar Woowar sounds bloody stupid
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
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Rotherham’s annual classiest woman contest got off to a rip roaring start on Friday after Bianca and Sigourney, both mothers of seven, got into a no holds barred bitch fight over Wayne, a 22 year old Nike tracksuit wearing, Vauxhall Astra driving, absolute tosspot, cocaine dealer from Rawmarsh.
Wayne, who wears a fake Rolex, and can barely put a sentence together and is one faulty brake light away from doing a 4 stretch said “tell you Bruv, dem bitches went strong, I been on dese roads since I was a younger and it was jokes how dey went at it fam ya get me”
A translator from Rotherham councils Jamaican mild-slang department was not available to explain what the fuck the jumped up little skip rat was saying, so we are none the wiser.
Both women were treated at the scene for loss of hair extensions, false eyelashes and Bianca was treated for shock after losing the badge off her Michael Kors bag.
The Advertiser has learnt that the two women have been charged with possession of offensive make-up and wearing ludicrous platforms with intent to endanger life.
 
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