• Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )

Daily Smile thread

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
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For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father
said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £80,000
and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door
with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I
heard you tell mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait
because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by
myself with an £80,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!"
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
"Build it and they will come!"

- Mission statement at the 'Rampant Rabbit' factory.
 

Jaws

Corporal CockUp
Staff member
Moderator
Club Sponsor
I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few drinks. Then I noticed two rather large women sitting at the bar.

They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?

One of them screamed, "It's Wales, you stupid IDIOT!"

I immediately apologised and said, "Sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland?

That's all I remember.
 

derek kelly

The Deli lama
Club Sponsor
Going to be awkward when they carry out the repairs to Notre Dame, as soon as the workers put on their hi viz vests the Gendarme will beat the crap out of them.
 
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